The Children’s Crusade

See also: “Historical Follies, vol. 12-34”

So the order has been given to deploy troops to the border as it becomes increasingly obvious that Mexican Presidente Labrador-Retriever has no intentions of keeping his lofty promises to stop the invading army of peasant rabble and MS-13 gang bangers, accompanied by the occasional Saracen wannabe splodeydope.

Oh, and let’s not forget the strategically placed pregnant mothers-in-waiting, only there for the camera optics when their fellow “caravaners” arrange for them to be shot.

When asked by the DNC AV Club if this was just a political stunt, General Mad Dog Mattis replied that his department didn’t do stunts, and the EneMedia already salivating at the thoughts of the bloody stunts they themselves are planning, should the shit hit the fan, would do well to pay heed to his words.

What can we say? This isn’t a man who beats around the bush.

Now, obviously deploying the troops is a sound and necessary move. No country throughout history lasted very long if it refused to deploy troops in its own defense when faced with an invading army, no matter how small or pitiful. And make no mistake, that “caravan” is an invading army.

Refugees don’t march through numerous countries seeking refuge, having already been offered such by the very first country they entered after having left the one they were fleeing.

Invading armies do.

Except they don’t bother pretending to be asking for refuge. Which is why we like armies a lot more than refugee hordes. They’re at least being honest.

Refugees don’t march waving the flags of the countries they hail from, burning the flag of the country they’re marching towards.

Invading armies do.

Refugees don’t tear down border control points and fences.

Invading armies do.

We’re sure you get the point by now.

But even though deploying troops is a necessary and prudent move, it shouldn’t be the only one. We heard the President when he stated that those countries failing to stop this army of immivaders would face serious consequences as well. After all, they are no different than, say, the Swedes when they let the Wehrmacht march through Sweden in order to get to Norway more easily. No different at all. Except in the case of Mexico and the other countries complicit in this invasion, they were given fair warning.

So it’s time to immediately put a full embargo in effect on all of those nations. No trade in, no trade out. No aid going out either. No more remittances to Mexico through U.S. banks either. If they want their share of filthy gringo cash, they can bloody well ask their sleeper agents to deliver it by hand themselves. The new trade deal with Mexico? It’s written on paper, and paper burns really well, Senor Labrador-Retriever.

If that fails to get their attention, then a full blockade would be the next logical step, but we somehow don’t believe that would be necessary. Without that filthy, disgusting, gringo cash that they claim to despise while slobbering all over themselves at the sight of a $10 bill, their economies would collapse in less time than it takes for His Imperial Majesty to brew a cup of coffee.

You think that’s a bit harsh?

Don’t get us started on what we’d do if we had the power.

We’d be delivering a document to Presidente Labrador-Retriever in his kennel stating that since he and his government had proven themselves utterly incapable of preventing his nation from being used as a staging ground for an invading army, the United States is left with no choice but to wholly annex the former state of Mexico, now known as the Protectorate of Mexico, along with all military control of its territory, effective immediately. And ten minutes after it was delivered, the armored divisions would cross the border going south at full speed.

As to the “caravan” itself?

Well, how do you treat invading armies? You set up defensive positions, wait for them to start moving and then, when you’ve got them in a killing field, you open fire with all barrels.

Let the vultures and coyotes take care of the rest.

Thatisall.