World Fails to End; Loons and Cultists Who Just Blew Their Savings on Strippers, Booze and Posters Hardest Hit

…and the head honcho of this latest eruption of Teh Stupid™ seems to have been raptured or something. At any rate, he’s not answering the phone.

Which sucks powerfully, as His Majesty was looking forward very much to calling him all night long, laughing like a demented hyena.

The Oakland, California, headquarters of the network of 66 U.S. stations was shuttered with a sign in the door that read “This Office is Closed. Sorry we missed you!”

Sorry, but that is so very much unimpressive compared to the classic bumper sticker saying “in case of Rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned.”

Family Radio officials, with the help of supporters, had posted over 2,000 billboards around the country warning of a May 21 Judgment Day.

And we thank you so much for your contribution to the ailing economy.

Sheila Doan, 65, who has lived next door to Camping since 1971, said he is a good neighbor and that she is concerned about Camping and his wife, because of the attention his pronouncement has received.

“I’m concerned for them, that somebody would possibly do something stupid, you just don’t know in this world what’s going to happen,” she said.

Oh yes. All of us bitter-clingers are just dying to double-tap some loon because he made an utter fool of himself. Actually, we’re not. We’re quite content with laughing at his dumber-than-dirt arse.

Of course, some members of the multitude that he talked into parting with their lives’ savings might think otherwise now but, if that’s the case, our only response is “what goes around, comes around. Jackarse.”

Of course, the Roto-Rooters article we linked utterly fails to ask for comment from any actual Christians, preferring instead to interview a bunch of atheists busy stating how silly all of those G-d bothering loons are.

But hey, that’s what we expected.

Nothing must stand in the way of The Narrative™.

Keep the Earth clean, shoot a journalist.

Thatisall.