Breaking: Russian Super Spy Assassin GRU Sekrit Poison Murderers Contact Media

As professional hitmen from shadowy government murder agencies so often do.

You can watch the whole thing here.

Turns out that the two specially trained Spetznaz-level super murderers are a pair of fitness instructors who went to the media voluntarily because they’re scared. You know, as professional secret intelligence hitmen often are.

According to them, they were just two guys out for a couple nights in London who decided to pop by Old Sarum, Salisbury Cathedral and Stonehenge which they, having not attended an American Publik Skool, had actually heard about. Frustrated by the fact that England had been covered in snow and slush, their initial visit to Salisbury came to nothing as transportation was pretty much down for the count, so they went back to London. (This would be their “reconnaisance trip”, according to the Keystone Kops of the New Scotland Yard).

Encouraged by the sunny weather and the melting snow the next day, they had another go at it and actually managed to see the cathedral, touristed around Salisbury a bit, and went back.

Whether they’re to be believed at all is, of course, anybody’s business, but their story certainly explains quite a bit better why these two alleged Sooper Assassins were caught by just about every CCTV camera in Salisbury during their alleged “hit”, including window shopping outside an antiques store.

You know, as assassins on a mission often do.

The British response has been to shout “rubbish” at the top of their lungs while providing, as has become usual for them, absolutely zero evidence that might contradict any of the two alleged assassins’ statements. But they do shout “rubbish” ever so loudly, so we suppose we’re to believe them based on the sheer volume of their “we know you are, but what are we?”

Boshirov and Petrov were also asked how on earth they managed to appear in the same spot at the exact same time on CCTV footage, something that we mentioned previously, and they answered, reasonably in our opinion, that this might be something for the British “Intelligence” Community to explain.

If they can get out of their onesies, that is.

Thatisall.

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Emperor Misha IangrywebmasterFa Cube Itches Recent comment authors
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Fa Cube Itches
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Fa Cube Itches

Gotta hand it to the MI boys. They can track every move made by a pair of professional master assassins. Bravo. Now if only they could apply those skills to rape gangs that are openly raping the shit out of young girls over periods of decades.

angrywebmaster
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Great Britain has been demoted. It’s shall be known as inadequate Britain.
:em07:

Oh, and in a little thread hijacking, did you see how the Washington Compost is blaming Hurricane Florence on Trump?

http://angry.net/blog2/?p=26920