Least Surprising News of the Week

Allegedly Keith Ellison is a woman-beating, abusing arsehole.

My name is Austin Monahan and I am writing this letter on behalf of me and my brother.

My brother and I watched our mom come out of pure hell after getting out of her relationship with Keith Ellison. For several months we knew something wasn’t right and couldn’t figure it out. When we asked our mom if everything was ok, she told us she was dealing with some stress and would be ok.

In the middle of 2017, I was using my moms computer trying to download something and I clicked on a file, I found over 100 text and twitters messages and video almost 2 min long that showed Keith Ellison dragging my mama off the bed by her feet, screaming and calling her a “f*cking bitch” and telling her to get the f*ck out of his house. The messages I found, were mixed with him consistently telling my mom he wanted her back, he missed her, he knew he f*cked up and we wished he could do things different, he would victim shaming, bully her, and threaten her if she went public. I text him and told him I know what you did to my mama and a few other things.

His mother, Karen, confirms the above.

Which obviously means that we have to believe it 100% without question. She’s a woman, after all, and to even question the claims of a woman, any woman, is the worst display of patriarchal, misogynist verbal rapism imaginable. Also, literally HITLER!

See, Prozis? We’ve learned your rules well and aren’t you just thrilled to see us playing by them? No? Whyever not?

Of course, one thing that makes this story stand out as dubious, if we may use that word without immediately being called out as Worse Than Hitler™ (we may not, obviously, but we’re risking it), is that the post above accuses a mooselimb of domestic violence against a woman, and we all know that…

Oh, wait…

Thatisall.

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LC XystusVonZorch Imperial ResearcherFox3 Recent comment authors
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Fox3
Fox3

What is it with muzzie men, they have the absolute poorest self control of any creature on the planet.

Not so sure about their women, but then again those are beaten into submission and might have learned something? Nah, never mind.

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher

But, but, but accusing a mooseslime of violence is Islamophobia! :em06:
Especially if it’s true.

LC Xystus
LC Xystus

Stupid MN Dems still like him! :em04: