Thanks to L.C. Mope, who keeps up with the fake news media so that we won’t have to read their sickening masturbatory fantasies, we learn that the Dread T-Shirt of Doom™ is making the rounds again. This time at Wal*Mart. Briefly. Before the butthurt presstitutes had it yanked.

The nation’s largest retailer Wednesday removed from its website a controversial t-shirt that threatens journalists, shortly after RTDNA and its Voice of the First Amendment Task Force sent a letter to the company’s top executives requesting its removal.

The shirt, featuring the words “Rope. Tree. Journalist. SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED,” had been offered for sale on by a third-party seller,, which also offers on its site a coffee mug featuring the slogan.

RTDNA Executive Director Dan Shelley sent a letter pointing out that the message sent by the shirts could “at the least … inflame the passions of those who either don’t like, or don’t understand, the news media. At worst, they openly encourage violence targeting journalists.”

Oh we understand you just fine. How do you think the T-shirt came about in the first place, you sanctimonious, lying pricks?

Wally World then proceeded to promptly yank the Tee.

“We are grateful for Walmart’s swift action, but dismayed that it, and anyone else selling the shirt, would offer such an offensive and inflammatory product,” Shelley said. “We live in an environment in which political and ideological discourse has deteriorated to the level where some find it appropriate to advocate violence targeting journalists merely for performing their Constitutionally-guaranteed duty to seek and report the truth,” he added.

If you lay the shmaltz any thicker on that slice of bread, it’ll collapse under its own weight, you self-righteous, obnoxious little turd. Get down from that damn cross, you’re only making yourself look silly up there.

Now, we realize that you “journalists” aren’t exactly among the sharpest tools in the shed, you spent an awfully large number of your formative years licking the windows of the short bus, otherwise you’d have gotten an actual education, so we’ll keep it slow here. First, the actual text of the First Amendment that you’re so obviously unfamiliar with:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

What you have is not a “Constitutionally guaranteed duty”, you have a Constitutionally guaranteed right to waste valuable ink and electrons in any way you see fit without fear of the government. Right does not equal “duty”.

Which, by the way, is the same right that everybody else has, including those poor benighted peasant citizens that you so disdain (and fear when they print T-shirts you don’t like, exercising their rights).

So no, you’re not special. Not in the way you’d like us to use the word “special”, anyway.

And stop using the word “duty” when you are obviously entirely unfamiliar with that as well. “Duty to report the truth?”

If only.

You hacks wouldn’t recognize the truth if it jumped up and bit you in whatever it is you have in place of balls.

Who knows? If you familiarized yourselves a bit with the concept of truth and started feeling a duty to report it, T-shirts like that one might not ever have been printed.

Ever thought about that?

No. No, you haven’t. Don’t pretend otherwise.

But please do keep beclowning yourselves.

You want to know how you got Trump? That’s how you got Trump.

Thanks, by the way.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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December 3, 2017 11:41

Sounds like it’s time for a reissue of the product. There does seem to be a demand for it.

BC, Imperial Torturer
December 3, 2017 22:54

I smell a very large copyright infringement lawsuit in the making!! There’s plenty of evidence for the courts to see, given the availability of the Wayback Machine! With the inevitable monetary windfall, we’d be able to re-stock the Imperial Dungeon Game Room with the missing booze that “mysteriously” disappeared the last time LC Mope popped in for *ahem* “a bottle… Read more »

L.C. Mope
December 7, 2017 21:23

Water? I never touch the stuff. Have you any idea what fish do in water? As for The Emperor’s inevitable monetary windfall, I certainly hope he is rewarded handsomely for his intellectual property. So much so, that he could even expand his universe and perhaps buy my GlowBull Worming™ offset business from me. The Offsets are selling like hotcakes, only… Read more »