Crazy, Sentient Truck Commits Act of Terror in Sweden

Stockholm (CNN)A suspect arrested on Friday after a stolen truck barreled into pedestrians on a busy Stockholm street —

Will nobody do anything to stop the scourge of crazy trucks murdering people???

Well, at least Swedish police appears to have arrested a suspect, which can’t have been all that hard. Clearly, they were looking for a truck with some serious frontal body damage. Hopefully nobody were injured when they made the arrest and clamped the wheels of this dangerous, murderous truck.

leaving at least four people dead — is being held of suspicion of perpetrating a terror attack, a government official has said.

The man in custody, whose appearance matches the description of a person of interest, is being held on “suspicion of terrorist crimes through murder,” Karin Rosander, spokeswoman for Sweden’s prosecutor’s office, told CNN via email early Saturday.
A dozen people were injured in the attack Friday, in what appeared to be the latest use of a vehicle as a weapon of terror in Europe.

Wait. They arrested “a man” (you have to admire this attention to detail when describing the suspect) and he “used the vehicle as a weapon?”

Well why didn’t you tell us so up front, FNN?

Just kidding. We think we both know why you didn’t, don’t we?

Of course we do. For the exact same reason that at no point in the entire rest of your carefully scrubbed (of fact) article, there is not a single word of description regarding the subject beyond “a man.” Good thing it wasn’t a woman, or we wouldn’t even know the murderer’s gender from your article.

Based on you assiduously sterilizing your article of facts, we can only assume that the perp was a white, straight, conservative Christian male.

Oh snap! Guess we were wrong. Imagine our surprise!

Oh snap! Guess we were wrong. Imagine our surprise!


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Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
April 9, 2017 23:26

Truck lives matter.

Farmor, LC, GLOR and Imperial Mother
Farmor, LC, GLOR and Imperial Mother
April 10, 2017 03:00

Actually he was kickede out of Sweden in 2016, men refused to leave. Instead he hided and lived there illegally until now. And he admitted – he was the one drived the truck.Besides he was from Usbeqistan (Maybe not spelled the right way)


April 10, 2017 03:14

Allow me to help the Swedigh press.

“AAAANNNDD It’s Muslims.”

LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology
LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology
April 10, 2017 10:45

Drivin’ down the road in the Truck of Peace
On a busy highway…..

April 10, 2017 13:43

We need Common Sense Truck Control. For the children.

LC Rabidfox
LC Rabidfox
April 10, 2017 22:54

angrywebmaster @ #:
Are they allowed to say that in Sweden?

April 11, 2017 03:09

LC Rabidfox @ #:

Are they allowed to say that in Sweden?

Probably not, but all I care about are Swedish meatballs and the Swedish Bikini team tucking me in at night.
:em01: :em05: