Grate Moments in Publik Skooling

It started Friday when her mother got a call from the principal about a playground incident. Caitlin explained that she and her two friends were using their imaginations, playing “King and Queen.”

In this case, Caitlin was the guard protecting the royals and picked up the gun to imitate shooting an intruder into the kingdom.

Hoke County Schools said Caitlin posed a threat to other students when she made a shooting motion, thus violating policy 4331.

So what was this terrifying weapon that 5-year-old Caitlin was “posing a threat with” while playing with her friend in the playground, grounds that, in times long past, were used for playing?

We’re glad you asked:

A picture of the military-style, extended magazineclip, fully automatic stick gun that made a Hoke County Skool principal wet its panties

A picture of the military-style, extended magazineclip, fully automatic stick gun (possibly a Glock) that made a Hoke County Skool principal wet its panties

Good for you, NC publik skool system! Who can tell what would have happened if this had gone unchallenged and this terrifying, threatening monster 5-year-old girl had been allowed to grow up without you showing her the error of her deeply dangerous and psychotic ways?

By kicking her out of school and humiliating her publicly in front of her peers.

Because that kind of thing never left any scars on a child’s psyche.

We’re long past the point where public schooling is classifiable as felony child endangerment and abuse.

“Hoke County Schools will not tolerate assaults, threats or harassment from any student. Any student engaging in such behavior will be removed from the classroom or school environment for as long as is necessary to provide a safe and orderly environment for learning,” the school system says.

And, pray tell, in which way exactly was it that 5-year-old Caitlin’s waving around a fucking stick “assaulted, threatened or harassed” somebody she was playing with?

Do go on. We have all day. Take your time. You may use crude crayon diagrams and drawings and smears of your own feces, as suits your “talents.” We’ll even have tutors on hand to help you with any words containing more than one syllable, as we can’t imagine that you’d ever get done without such assistance.

Then kindly go stick your heads in the nearest oven, turn on the gas and inhale.


For the Children™.



  1. 1
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    Hoke? Hokey. :em04:

  2. 2
    Libsareb Raindead growls and barks:

    “Assault Stick! :em06:! :em06:! :em06:! :em06:!!!1!”


  3. 3
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    It’s time to sue these public schools into oblivion. Cold hard cash. Make sure the insurance they have won’t cover it.

    That or start stringing up these morons running them.

  4. 4
    Ironbear growls and barks:

    We’re long past the point where public schooling is classifiable as felony child endangerment and abuse.

    Coincidentally, my roommate and I were discussing something to do with public education in, IIRC, Iowa that cropped up in a Redditt thread the other day, and I used almost exactly those words in expressing my feelings on public schooling over the last twenty years: “classifiable as felony child endangerment and abuse.”

    Great minds think alike, and apparently, so do ours. 🙂

  5. 5
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Ironbear says:

    Great minds think alike, and apparently, so do ours.


    And it’s not an exaggeration either, much as I love to throw those around.

    It made me think about that video of that fugly hag who packed her little boy’s ruck and kicked him out of the house because he voted for Trump in a mock election in school. Same thing exactly.

    To a little girl or boy, school is just about the most exciting thing. It means you’re a big boy/girl now, it means that you’re out in the real world getting smart, like mom and dad, and it means, more than anything, that you get to be part of something, you get to belong a group of peers.

    And that disgusting school and its even more disgusting teachers took all of that away from that little girl and humiliated her deeply in front of her friends, her new peers, “look, Caitlin in a baaaad girl, she can’t be with us anymore”, and then sent her home.

    A five year old child.

    When all they’d have had to do if they absolutely felt that they must enforce their idiotic Prozi rule that prevents nothing and achieves even less (and don’t even get me started on that) would be to sit down and explain to her how they knew she and her friend were just playing and having fun, but that not all games are OK to play in school. That’s it.

    But no. They had to give the kid the full Soviet.

    They should all be hanged by the neck until dead.

  6. 6
    Ironbear growls and barks:

    Yeah. Remind me to relate the tale of how we managed to get my godson and then my goddaughter out of the public school system and into private schools, and why. It’s marginally entertaining in an ongoing train wreck sort of way… in hindsight.

    At the time, it just pissed me off because they wanted to medicate (Ritalin) my perfectly normal and high IQ godson for, basically, being a normal male kid of his age who just happened to be smarter and better read than his teachers, using a BS ADHD diagnosis.

  7. 7
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    angrywebmaster @ #:3

    It’s time to sue these public schools into oblivion.

    Yeah, fuck all those idiot taxpayers.

  8. 8
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Fa Cube Itches @ #:

    If you want changes, it sometimes takes a 2×4 to the wallet. The negotiations for a settlement could include the termination of the entire school board and administration. Anyone who makes policy.

  9. 9
    Terrapod growls and barks:

    Be human and support equality (sign at some leftard rally somewhere in USA)

    Let’s analyze this shall we?

    Under the law, every human legally in the United States is equal. So states our constitution.

    Therefore, what the leftard must be referencing is this so called “social equality”.

    Now then, every human is born into this world more or less in the same way and arrives of equal stature to every other. Life and the opportunity to grow and succeed.

    Note that this is an individual endeavor and that given the broad range of humanities traits, customs and individual drive, some will be able to exercise their individual rights to gain sustenance and comfort, and others will not.

    This points to the society in which you arrive as a key limiting factor, not the individuals drive and desire to succeed and gain prosperity.

    Given that the freest society was the Untied States of America as founded, based on the ideals of freedom of the individual with very limited bounds by government, one would think these leftards would be promoting diminished government, fewer regulations, and the liberty for the individual to succeed to the maximum level their own drive and ambition allow.

    So what is glaringly obvious from this brief analysis? That the leftards are really all about controlling (diminishing) others, not promoting equality in the least, which is why they should all be jeered at, diminished, discarded and shown the door to the country of their preference outside of our own.

    Given a very high percentage of leftards have over the past 100 years, worked their way into academia, government and the media in seeking to diminish the rest of us, those will be the institutions to shake out first.

    Now go clean house!

  10. 10
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Terrapod @ #:

    Under the law, every human legally in the United States is equal. So states our constitution.

    Unfortunately, the morons of the court have removed the “Legally” part of that sentence.
    Now for some topic-jacking…
    Did you know that Huma Abedin was once tasked to plot the Clinton’s demise?
    Please note that today is April 2nd, and Fake News is no longer permitted under California law.

  11. 11
    Terrapod growls and barks:


    Ah! My bad, I completely left out the courts from the above list when it should have been near the top. You are absolutely correct, what they cannot win by consent of the governed they get legislated by the courts, which is an abomination if there ever was one.

  12. 12

    Geez…after finally picking the lock on the Imperial Broom Closet to get out.. :em01: …this shit makes me want to go back in and barricade the damn door. :em08:

  13. 13
    LC MuscleDaddy growls and barks:

    Public school isn’t about Learning – it’s about Schooling.
    Which is why BrotherBear is homeschooled now…

    – MD