It started Friday when her mother got a call from the principal about a playground incident. Caitlin explained that she and her two friends were using their imaginations, playing “King and Queen.”
In this case, Caitlin was the guard protecting the royals and picked up the gun to imitate shooting an intruder into the kingdom.
Hoke County Schools said Caitlin posed a threat to other students when she made a shooting motion, thus violating policy 4331.
So what was this terrifying weapon that 5-year-old Caitlin was “posing a threat with” while playing with her friend in the playground, grounds that, in times long past, were used for playing?
We’re glad you asked:
Good for you, NC publik skool system! Who can tell what would have happened if this had gone unchallenged and this terrifying, threatening monster 5-year-old girl had been allowed to grow up without you showing her the error of her deeply dangerous and psychotic ways?
By kicking her out of school and humiliating her publicly in front of her peers.
Because that kind of thing never left any scars on a child’s psyche.
We’re long past the point where public schooling is classifiable as felony child endangerment and abuse.
“Hoke County Schools will not tolerate assaults, threats or harassment from any student. Any student engaging in such behavior will be removed from the classroom or school environment for as long as is necessary to provide a safe and orderly environment for learning,” the school system says.
And, pray tell, in which way exactly was it that 5-year-old Caitlin’s waving around a fucking stick “assaulted, threatened or harassed” somebody she was playing with?
Do go on. We have all day. Take your time. You may use crude crayon diagrams and drawings and smears of your own feces, as suits your “talents.” We’ll even have tutors on hand to help you with any words containing more than one syllable, as we can’t imagine that you’d ever get done without such assistance.
Then kindly go stick your heads in the nearest oven, turn on the gas and inhale.
For the Children™.