This time from overseas but, before you laugh too hard, admit it: It could have been here.
Nursery workers suggested a four-year-old boy who mispronounced the word “cucumber” as “cooker bomb” should be referred to a counter-terrorism project, his family has claimed.
The Asian family said concerns were raised with them after the child drew a picture of a man cutting the vegetable with a large knife.
Before we proceed, we should interject that in Britain, “Asian” means “wog” or, as we know them over here, “goat botherers.”
Nonetheless, no matter how hard we strain, we’re having a damnably hard time trying to picture a “radicalized” four-year-old, no matter how much he may or may not be a wog with a speech impediment.
And “cooker bomb?” Oh, we get it. A bomb made out of a pressure cooker! How clever of you, unnamed British skool teacher. Clearly, this four-year-old evil mastermind was planning to use the pressure cooker that all Arabs use to cook their national dish, steamed rice, in and blow up the whole kindergarten!
After all, the evidence was right there! Why, there was a stick man with a knife, a KNIFE! (it’s OK, it was only a drawing, you may proceed to crawl out from under the desk now), obviously cutting slices out of a stick of C4, as one does.
Clearly, some sort of commendation, an O.B.E., perhaps?, is in order here.
Nursery staff in Luton, Beds, told the child’s mother they believed he was saying “cooker bomb” when he was asked about the drawing, and discussed referring the case to the Home Office’s ‘Prevent’ deradicalisation scheme.
And clearly, being threatened not-so-subtly with having your four-year-old forcibly removed from you and placed under the tender ministrations of a government entity should not at all foster misgivings in a parent!
However, the case was eventually referred to police and social services panel instead, who decided not to take further action, the BBC Asian Network reported.
Which was a mistake. They should have immediately arrested the “teachers” for First Degree Felony Public Display of Teh Stupid™.
The boy’s mother, who has not been named, said: “[The member of nursery staff] kept saying it was this one picture of the man cutting the cucumber, which she said to me is a ‘cooker bomb’.
“I was baffled. It was a horrible day.”
She added that she feared her children would be taken away from her.
Which might have had a bit to do with the staff, we don’t know, threatening to take her children away from her. Talk about jumping to conclusions!
A quote that was later shoved down the memory hole by The Telegraph (presumably due to it possibly harming the reputation of one of Britain’s most beloved child molesters), goes:
“I said: ‘When you look at me, from where do I look like a terrorist?’ and she [staff member] said: ‘Well, did Jimmy Savile look like a paedophile?’” the mother told the newspaper.
We’ll just file that under “questions that require no answers”, shall we?