A while back there was a story about some Prozi buttmuncher propane dealer in Maine who, in the middle of the coldest blast of glowbull wormening since, well, a long time, declared on his voicemail that anybody who voted for Trump could go freeze to death in the dark because he sure as Hell wasn’t selling to them anymore.
It sure got people’s attention. Problem for Mr. Fuckwad is that it got the attention of some people he’d probably rather not have gotten the attention of (h/t Ace):
SKOWHEGAN — A local propane dealer who said in a recent message that he won’t sell to anyone who voted for President-elect Donald Trump has been delivering and dispensing gas without a state license for at least two years, state officials said this week.
Michael Turner, who operates of Turner LP Gas Service on Canaan Road, left a message for would-be customers on his company’s voice mail, saying “If you voted for Donald Trump for president, I will no longer be delivering your gas. Please find someone else.” That message was left on a Friday, when the weather was bitterly cold. The message goes on to say that the cost of gas remains $110 a bottle, with payment due on delivery.
However, Turner is not licensed to sell gas. According to the Maine Fuel Board, Turner’s propane license expired in 2012. Turner had two licenses, one for delivery and the other for dispensing, which expired in 2012 and 2014, respectively. The board became aware of the issue after the news of Turner’s message was reported by the Portland Press Herald late last week.
Erm… Oops? That’s, you know, illegal and stuff. You’re probably wishing by now that your little crybully stunt had stayed locked inside the two synapses still functioning in your Prozi, vacuous head, aren’t you?
Predictably, as is always the case when a Prozi crybully is caught with its gender-neutral drawers down, Turner immediately switched to Victim Mode™:
On Wednesday morning, Turner said he did not expect this level of reaction from people, and that he has received calls from across the United States. Despite his message, Turner said he has never actually denied anyone gas, and his intent was just to point out Trump is “unfit to be president of anything.”
Except for the part of your message when you actually denied sale and delivery of gas to anybody who voted for Trump. But apart from that, you definitely didn’t deny anybody anything.
But still, he was surprised at the negative reaction this has generated.
“It proves my point that these people are violent and disgusting, just like their leader,” Turner said.
Step 1: Tell your customers that if they voted for somebody you don’t like, they can either freeze to death or find somewhere else to buy gas.
Step 2: People get angry about you being a colossal, cuntfaced cocksucker.
Step 3: Use 2) to “prove” that you’re a poor innocent victim unfairly persecuted by vicious, violent Trump voters.
Step 4: Spend rest of your life with a giant “kick me in the nuts, please” sign on your forehead.
“To them it seems like such a joke. I’m scared; I wouldn’t be surprised if I come home and my house is in flames.”
Number of houses burned down by actual “Angry Trump Voters™” : 0
Number of hoaxes about violence, arson, racism and vandalism blamed on “Angry Trump Voters™”, but actually perpetrated by SJW Prozis : still counting, several daily at this time.
But hey, if somebody were to actually burn down your house, at least you’d be nice and warm, no? Unlike your former customers.
As to the issue of licensing, Turner said he had “no idea” he hadn’t been licensed in years, but said he was retiring as of Dec. 31 anyway. He also said he was a “very small business,” estimating he only has 75 to 100 customers, all of whom are mostly at remote camps in northern Somerset County.
“No idea” isn’t the best legal defense in the world, you know. But we suspect you’re about to learn that the hard way. And yes, we’re sure that at this point you’re about to “retire” soon, whether you want to or not.
“I’d like to thank everyone who has called to support me,” Turner said. “And to the haters, I’d like to say, ‘Merry Christmas.’”
And we’d like to offer this one bit of free advice: Don’t drop the soap.