Ted, You Disappoint Us. You Really Did Yourself in There…

Ted Cruz is, was, our preferred candidate going in as you all know. And yes, as we’ve pointed out before, our view of him has changed quite a bit over the primaries as his behavior in various and sundry cage fights struck us as quite a bit less honorable (we finally managed to spell it without a “u”! Who said we’d never make it!) than what we’d expected, but we never ever truly gave up hope that one day he would be ready for a comeback.

But with his behavior (another “u” we left out!) tonight, we have to say he went too far.

What’d he do? Did he eat a live puppy on stage? Did he declare his unabiding love for Cankles’ fetid inner thighs?

No. Worse than that.

He violated his own word.

TODD: You’ve said some tough things on Trump. Why are you comfortable supporting him as the nominee if he ends up the nominee.

CRUZ: Well, listen, I pledged at the outset I will support the Republican nominee, whoever it is…

TODD: Why are you making a pledge to the party and not to the voters?

CRUZ: Because Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders would be a manifest disaster. If Hillary is the president, we will lose the Supreme Court for a generation, the Second Amendment will be written out of the Bill of Rights, we’ll lose our religious liberty, we’ll be buried in debt and our will remain coming out of school without jobs, without opportunities. Hillary would be disastrous for this country. So the answer is not simply to resign yourself to Donald Trump, who would be a disaster as well, the answer is to beat Donald.

TODD: Given everything you’ve just said about him in this interview, you still will support him if that is what the Republican party does?

CRUZ: You know, Chuck, I’m a very simple man and when I give my word for something, I follow through and do what I said.

Except when you don’t, obviously.

We’re sorry, that’s a bridge too far.

Don’t get us wrong, Senator. We absolutely understand why you’d rather drink a bucket full of Hillary’s vaginal discharge than endorse Trump at this point, it’s not like the two of you don’t have a history, but… You gave your word.

You gave your WORD.

No matter how distasteful keeping said word might turn out to be in the future, you’re still bound by it. Your word is your bond.

Oh shit, we just lifted that from the First Wookie, Moochelle Obama’s speech, didn’t we? That means that we, like Melania Trump, are worse than Hitler, according to the Prozi Media. After all, nobody in the history of mankind ever used those words before she halfway intelligibly horked them out past her testicle shelf. Oh well, if we have to be Worse than Hitler™ together with a beautiful lady like Melania, we can live with it, we suppose. But we digress.

Your word IS your bond. If you violate your own word, then your word will never mean anything ever again. If you can do it once, you can do it every time. Or every other time or every third time. It doesn’t matter. Your word is, from that point onwards, worthless. Just like ¡Ruuuuubio!’s word is worth less than koranimal shit after he lied about amnesty. He lied once. Nobody can convince us that any single future statement out of his mouth isn’t also a lie.

Yes, again, we do understand “changing your mind.” That’s why, if you’re in doubt as to whether or not you’ll be able to keep a promise, YOU DON’T MAKE IT! That’s not hard. We’ve been in situations in our life numerous times where somebody asked us if we’d do something that we really, really wanted to do and were absolutely fine with doing at the time, but weren’t quite sure if we could follow through on it. So we didn’t make the promise, because then we wouldn’t have to potentially one day back down on it. That’s not hard. Just don’t make the promise. Because once you do, you’re bound by it.

But perhaps you were just thinking “yeah right, that silly reality show star isn’t ever going to win the primaries, so I won’t ever have to make good on this promise. Hey, I’ll just make it.”

That’s a pity, and we really mean that. You see, we really admired you for all the things you did to shake up the Imperial DC apple cart. When Trump used “nobody likes him” as a weapon against you, we took that as an endorsement, because we don’t ever want anybody who is liked by those filthy, lying, Quisling pigs in DC. When somebody said “oh yeah, but what did he actually achieve by standing up to the Uniparty?”, we replied “he stood up, didn’t he? What the fuck did YOU do? And, by the way, could you please spit out Obama’s cock before you answer because your words are kind of muffled right now.”

But perhaps it was all a show. Perhaps your “standing athwart the DC Uniparty’s progress, yelling STOP!”, your “fighting against impossible odds because at least you’re fighting” was all a show? Perhaps it was all a ploy by the increasingly uneasy Uniparty to make us dumb rubes think that “hey, there’s still something to work with! Let’s not burn the house down just yet!”

We actually heard that over the past years and we always answered “you’re being a bit paranoid, aren’t you? Ted’s a good man. He’d never agree to something like that. He’s done everything he said he would do, hasn’t he? OK, so he hasn’t won yet, but the time will come. At least they’re not ALL rotten, bought scoundrels.”

Now that you’ve shown yourself to have no honor, we’re no longer so sure.

Maybe it was all a carefully choreographed show for the “rubes.” Maybe your torpedoing of the latest Shamnesty bill was all pre-arranged, like a Wrasslin’ match where the underdog gets to win one, inconsequential battle while all of the important ones go to the other side, just to keep the audience thinking that maybe, just maybe, there’s a comeback in the offing.

We’re not saying it was, but we can’t really know anymore, can we?

You’re done for.

You’re dead to us now.




  1. 1
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    Talking to Demagogue propaganda guy Chunk Toad may have been his initial mistake.

  2. 2
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Cruz jumped the shark, then went to the nuclear test range and climbed into a fridge.
    So disappointing. We had such high hopes for him.

    Of course, he isn’t alone here. Kasich has come off as an insufferable egomaniac.

  3. 3
    Bones growls and barks:

    I’m sure that he felt it was “regan-esque” as ronald never endorsed ford prior to his embarrasing loss to carter, then regan came back four years later with a vengenance. If that was what he was thinking, he is going to have a hell of a wakeup call in 2020! Good riddance to bad rubbish. As for the rest of the Uni-Party cabal in DC, may you all die slowly, painfully and pay for your traitorous actions here, find G_D, and save your souls from teh everlasting fires that you so richly deserve. :em08:

  4. 4
    Library Czar growls and barks:

    I think this is the first time I have disagreed with you since I started reading your site over the 4th of July 2003. Except maybe for the shade of eyeshadow you wore for your Nth birthday party. (And for a small fee I think I can make those pictures go away)

    Is a non-endorsement an anti-endorsement? Here we have a man of integrity and his wife attacked by the King of the Oompa Loompa’s with/by a complicit LSM/MSM. The man is invited to speak at the Republican National Convention and he accepts the challenge. He submits his speech to the powers that be prior to his speaking and only deviates one iota from the speech. He congratulates the winner of the nomination to be President.

    I’d like to say I am not a Republican but I would be lying. I registered as a Republican to vote against Johnny McStain. I’ll not be able to disassociate with the Republicans fast enough once the election is over.

    So The Honorable Senator from Texas speaks at the Republican National Convention and the crowd boos him for telling them to vote their conscience. So what does this tell the world? We’ve all seen the lockstep goosestepping of the Democrat/Communist party (I can’t tell them apart anymore) telling their people to vote for crooks and liars and the truth be damned. And they do. Has the respect for liberty and the duty to vote ones conscience died in the Republican party? Are we supposed to vote for a Cheeto eating Raccoon because the Party “elites” tell us how to vote? Do we really want to present ourselves to the world as the party of capitulation to the ruling elite of the Party? (capitalized for your enjoyment)

    As far as Mr Cruz keeping his word that went out the window the moment his wife was attacked. I was not impressed with Mr Cruz last night but I was not disappointed either. Emperor, you have traveled the world far more than I but when I’ve traveled I’ve often heard the same refrain from non-Americans. You people think differently. You people act differently. There is something about you Americans that is not the same as any other people. I submit that that difference is still a spark of Liberty that runs in our veins. You could see it in Melania Trump’s eyes when she spoke. She is not afraid to say she is proud to be an American. It would be interesting to ask her if she thought Americans/republicans should vote for her husband against their conscience just because the Party tells them too?

    I am ashamed that a room full of people who are supposed to stand for Liberty and Freedom, free market capitalism, right to life for the most vulnerable in our society, right to self protection, and a host of other freedoms votes for submission to the elite by booing someone who tells them to vote their conscience. Disgusting.

  5. 5
    JonB growls and barks:

    The pieces of the puzzle are curious to me.

    Cruz gives his word to endorse the GOP candidate, then, on national television and in front of millions, he goes back on it. His wife escorted by police from the arena for her protection (a show, to make trump supporters look bad). He’s practically booed off stage.

    But he was apparently smirking about it.


    Rumor is that he was visiting with Obama and others just days before the RNC as well.

    Something about this goes way beyond a mans word. I think we’re about to find out that Ted Cruz is a lot more evil than anyone could have suspected.

    Just my opinion.

  6. 6
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    JonB @ #:5
    Of course Cruz is evil, so is Trump, and every other damned politician. If they weren’t evil they couldn’t stomach being politicians.

  7. 7
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    To paraphrase The Man With The Plan from Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead: I’m a politician. My word don’t mean dick.
    – Ted Cruz

  8. 8
    LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology growls and barks:

    Gotta play devil’s advocate here.

    Did Ted Cruz ever promise to endorse the GOP nominee? Or just to “support” him?

    Moreover, we still have 3½ months until the election. Even if support = endorse, Cruz could wait until the first weekend in November and he’d technically be making good on his vow.

  9. 9
    BC, Imperial Torturer growls and barks:

    I have to say that I’m in agreement with Library Czar on this one. If someone had viciously attacked my wife and father, it’d be a cold day in Jamaica before I’d endorse him/her for any office. I didn’t hear one word from Ted that wasn’t true in his speech.

    We’ve been told for decades that we had to “support the nominee”, no matter what kind of fucking weasel he might have been. (See: McStain, Mittens, et al.) And yet, here we are now, in 2016, and since a supposedly “anti-establishment” candidate has won the nomination, we’re supposed to blindly bow down and slather him with praise and endorsements? If ever there were an “establishment candidate”, Trump is it. How many decades has he spent buying off politicians in order to get his way in business deals? I think the Wailing & Gnashing of Teeth is a contrived “controversy”, put together by Teh Establishment, in order to finally be rid of Ted, once and for all.

    Yeah, I’m going to hold my nose and vote for Teh Donald, because I’d rather muff dive on Helen Thomas’ worm-infested corpse than see Shillary in the WH, but I’m washing my hands with sulfuric acid and lye soap afterwards.

    Now, whose turn is it to stock the bar in the Imperial Dungeon Game Room?

  10. 10
    L.O.R. Ankle biter growls and barks:

    I’m with Library Czar and Getalis. I loved that speech the other night, and also, I understood Trump himself waffled on the pledge and even renounced it months ago. “Vote your conscience” shouldn’t be cause for boos, which I heard were whipped up by Trump staff. Blame the twitter machine if that’s wrong. Voting your conscience is what you should do every time you go vote. Study the issues and the constitution and make your mind up, then go vote that way. As for what I’m going to do this November, I still think I’m going to leave the top part of the ballot blank. I still can’t bring myself to vote Trump and there’s even less chance I’ll go for Hilary. Some of Gary Johnson’s stances are a joke, so he’s out, too. Now if only I had a write-in option, but I don’t think I do.

    Apparently Trump’s saying he wouldn’t accept Cruz’s endorsement if he offered it now anyway. Whatever. I hope he doesn’t endorse, but even if he did it wouldn’t matter to me because while I respect Ted Cruz, I don’t worship at his feet. I feel like all this hooplah over the speech is whipped up drama, but I’d surely have a hard time supporting in any form someone who insulted my family.

    If Trump happens to win this November, I’ll evaluate him over the first term of his presidency and decide in four years whether I can vote for him next time, but for now I remain #NeverTrump and I always will be #NeverHilary.

  11. 11
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    If Cruz had just stopped before the last paragraph, even with the refusal to keep his word, he would have probably been ok. Now, he’s managed to castrate himself. I understand he was refused entry to the various delegations, including Texas, the one state you would think he would have been welcomed.
    I suspect there’s a lot more going on behind the scenes. Now for all of those in the past who told me I had to hold my nose and vote the way the GOP(e) said I had to, now it’s your turn.
    Suck it up Buttercup!
    If you want some real “NeverTrump” fun, read what a moonbat at the LA Slimes Times had to say. He wants military coup to remove Trump. Of course, Hillary is just dandy in his opinion.

  12. 12
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    I never did understand how Cruz could possibly be worth shit and his wife be a high-up in Goldman Sachs – that place breeds devils and antichrist wannabes. His political suicide is more than welcome.


  13. 13
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    L.O.R. Ankle biter @ #:10
    I’m thinking about writing in James Earl Carter, the worst living ex president eligible for another term.

  14. 14
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Good points, all.

    I feel that I have to clarify a few things, though, just to make sure that we’re disagreeing on things that we’re actually disagreeing on 🙂

    First of all, obviously nobody can have a problem with the expression “vote your conscience”, at least not if they’re an American. That’s what one should always do and it’ll be a cold day in Hell before I ever disagree with it. Sure, I might disagree with just where a given individual’s conscience takes him, but that’s irrelevant to the concept. His conscience, not mine, the end.

    As such I, too, found the whole booing at that sentence unbecoming. If the concept was, indeed, what they were booing at. Could be that it was merely that his expression thereof at that point clearly signaled that he’d decided to forget about his promise. I don’t know. Shouldn’t be booed anyway, even if I understand the sentiment. Poor show. Then again, it (sadly) fits nicely with the whole election season and the atmosphere thereof. A lot of frustration and anger out there, for a million extremely good reasons, and people are bound to not be on their best behavior anymore.

    Now, as to the “I can’t endorse somebody who attacked my family” bit.

    I get that. I really, truly get that. There are times when keeping a promise becomes no longer possible (not just inconvenient) to keep while maintaining one’s integrity and honor in other areas. I can see myself saying “fuck it, it’s off” if somebody attacked my family, and I wouldn’t feel any worse about myself because of it.

    But I’d explain myself while I declared that to be the situation. I wouldn’t wait a day until the polling was in and then come out and say “well, I decided to back off my promise because the bastard attacked my family.”

    I might say, at the podium, not as damage control afterwards, “listen, I know I gave my promise to back the candidate, no matter who he might turn out to be, and it grieves me to say that I can’t stick by that promise. The attacks on my family cannot be overlooked, I cannot sweep them under the rug without making a piss poor example to others, including my children.”

    The end. That way you’ve put it out there up front and in the clear. Here’s what I’m doing, I know I’m doing it, and this is why I’m doing it. Make of it what you will.

    Of course, that approach might not have worked too well in this case, considering it was Cruz’s campaign who opened the ball by insinuating that Trump’s wife was a bit of a whore-slut. What, with the nekkid picture and all.

    (I’ll just interject here that no, I absolutely do NOT buy the “the SuperPAC did it!” excuse. That’s just a bit too convenient. Sure, let the PAC do what they will and if it benefits me, then good, and if it doesn’t, then it has absolutely NOTHING to do with me and shouldn’t count against me. That excuse doesn’t work for Trump either with the picture of Heidi Cruz in response).

    Regardless, neither campaign covered themselves with glory in that episode, no matter who started it, families are off-limits or SHOULD be, since they’re not the ones running for office.

    And I’ll never, ever understand the whole “Cruz’s daddy may have conspired to kill JFK” nonsense. That one was just flat out insane. Even if, IF his dad had been doing just that, which I certainly doubt although I obviously can’t know, I very much doubt that toddler Ted would have had anything to do with it. Not to mention that, again, Cruz Sr. wasn’t running for office.

    TL;DR, as the kool kidz say: 1) You don’t break a promise. If you can’t keep it, don’t make it.
    2) If later developments make it impossible for you to reconcile keeping your promise with the new situation on the ground, you better A) explain yourself and B) do so up front and not the next day over coffee.

  15. 15
    LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology growls and barks:

    I’m starting to suspect this was a brilliant gambit. Clear away the smoke and one thing stands conspicuous: everybody came out getting what they wanted (Ted Cruz) or needed (everyone else).

    Ted Cruz didn’t want to endorse the man who called him a liar, his wife ugly and his father a co-conspirator in the JFK assassination. So he intentionally didn’t endorse him; Cruz gets what he wants.

    In doing so, Cruz casts himself as the villain of the night. Or, to paraphrase the Dark Knight, the villain the Trump campaign needs on the eve of the nomination. They’ll spurn him, because he can take it!

    Former Cruz supporters can now support Donald Trump, with the convention snub as their point-of-conversion. We all saw and heard plenty of that throughout the Thursday news cycle. People like myself, who chose Trump over Cruz early on can welcome these Cruz supporters into the fold; no hard feelings!

    Cruz has honored his pledge to support the nominee by parlaying his own supporters into Trump voters.

  16. 16
    BC, Imperial Torturer growls and barks:

    Well said, Mein Imperator. If it were me, I’d have told the RNC and Trump’s people to kindly go fuck themselves with Moochelle’s prehensile dick, then jump off the top of the Washington monument, before I’d have agreed to show up at their convention. But, that’s just me.

    Now, as to the general erection (not a typo, since we’re gonna be fucked either way), it’s going to be interesting to see how much of Shillary’s “deleted work-related emails” get released by a certain set of foreign hackers. It’s a double-edged sword that they wield and they can do it one of two ways— release them BEFORE the election to torpedo her chances or hold onto them until AFTER the election and use them as blackmail to get whatever the fuck they want out of the Clinton Crime Family Cartel. Either way, she should be reading them (via multiple devices) from the Hotel Greybar, instead of a luxury suite.

  17. 17
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology @ #:

    Just one problem with that theory – it involves a Republican playing 8th dimensional chess, when they’ve shown themselves incapable of mastering anything at or above the complexity of Candyland.

  18. 18
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Fa Cube Itches @ #:

    Just one problem with that theory – it involves a Republican playing 8th dimensional chess, when they’ve shown themselves incapable of mastering anything at or above the complexity of Candyland.

    I think Candyland might be a bit to complex for most of them.

  19. 19
    LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology growls and barks:

    Fa Cube Itches says:

    Just one problem with that theory – it involves a Republican playing 8th dimensional chess, when they’ve shown themselves incapable of mastering anything at or above the complexity of Candyland.

    True, but Trump & Cruz aren’t your garden-variety Republicans.

    Two more things stand out to me: Trump’s “Peekaboo!” on the convention floor at the end of Ted’s speech, and the Scalia-replacement line during Trump’s acceptance speech the following night. The former was obviously planned in advance, and the latter sounded like Trump already knows who it’s going to be.

  20. 20
    Retired Spook growls and barks:

    I understand the basics of the tiff. You insult my wife, insult my (deceased) father, and then you want me to support you? Srsly?
    But the shoe being on the other hand, I can’t help but think there would have been a better way to say fuck you than what he did.

    Still, as grandpa used to point out, there’s only been one perfect person in all of history. And look what they did to HIM!!!!

    Or: It’s not a perfect world. If it was, none of us would be in it.

  21. 21
    LC SecondMouse growls and barks:

    I am so weary of this. Excuse the impertinence, Emperor, but you are like a sinking ship, firing on your rescuer. Permit me to repost something I wrote on another forum, under another handle, in response to similar group hallucinations:

    Up is down and down is up. Never has the truth been so uniformly reviled by Americans without regard for which side of the aisle they stand on, as if that even mattered anymore.

    We construct these cults around personalities on the national stage, and we close our minds to the facts which surround us that might be at odds with the personal commitment we have made to the cult of our choosing. We rationalize shortcomings in their character or background that would have made them ineligible in an earlier era. We have been trained to displace reason and embrace emotion, with the result that the national discourse on crucial issues has become a form of mass hysteria.

    The collectivists have won – this is precisely the dynamic they have been laboring to produce. Individualism is dead, having been starved of the rational debate it needs to survive, its rotting carcass discarded by the masses too outraged and base to care about principles anymore.

    Onward toward the cliff of despair we march, certain that we each have chosen the holiest of martyrs to our cause, yet too stupid to stop and realize that the other guys are sure of the same, and yet matters grow worse, not better. Without regard to who’s candidate gets enthroned.

    Until such time as we the people find the ability to understand why what I have said is true, and to elevate the dialog accordingly, the individual chosen to govern will make no difference.


    Ask yourself these questions: Why does the GOP establishment hate Ted Cruz so much? Why does Trump feel the need to constantly attack Cruz? Why does the media go to such great lengths to ensure that Cruz is regularly smeared and maligned? Why is it such a popular team sport to denigrate this man? How come he is not wealthier than he is, if he is the Goldman snake he is made out to be? Why do people constantly say they want a politician that tells the truth, yet despise Ted when he does it, and support the sociopaths heading to the election? Is it possible that the manipulative reach of the media and the state has reached out and touched you, despite your convictions to the contrary?

    Although I have been expecting it, it is stunning to see the GOP capitulate so completely to progressivism. Faced with the choice between standing for principle or keeping their jobs, the party leadership has chosen the latter, at immeasurable future expense to the idea of America. To a constitutional conservative, what Cruz did at the RNC is exactly what we expected him to do, and from our point of view, brilliantly so. Anything less would have been a disappointment. It is a misjudgement of the first order to assign blame to Cruz for sticking to the principles we should all be expecting from true conservatives. There are a large number of increasingly angry constitutional conservatives out there who realize that this is not a game. This is not about the red team and the blue team. This is about what America stands for, and the nation we wish to live in.

    The true danger to America is not HiLiary in the White House, although a weak nation will we damaged further by her influence. It is a nation that has permanently discarded the principles that made it great; that ensured that each of us would enjoy our liberty and the fruits of our own labors. Once gone, forever gone.

  22. 22
    redc1c4 growls and barks:

    the only people surprised by these events are the one’s who thought Cruz was anything other than just another politician…


  23. 23
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    LC SecondMouse:

    Faced with the choice between standing for principle or keeping their jobs, the party leadership has chosen the latter..

    You were expecting them to choose differently?

  24. 24
    redc1c4 growls and barks:

    Picture YOU making a pledge to back the nominee, and that person turns out to be the guy who publicly humiliated and talked shit about YOUR family.

    much of my family deserves to be publicly humiliated and have shit talked about them: they’re autonomic Demonrats.

  25. 25
    LC Mike in Chi growls and barks:

    Cruz is good little doggie; he bites RINOS and Demo-craps with an obviously well prepared direction. As Trump entered, was that a smirk on Teddy’s mug as they escorted him out? He’d make an interesting SecDef or even State. Foggy Bottom could use a good house cleaning.

  26. 26
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    LC Mike in Chi @ #:

    Cruz is good little doggie; he bites RINOS and Demo-craps with an obviously well prepared direction. As Trump entered, was that a smirk on Teddy’s mug as they escorted him out? He’d make an interesting SecDef or even State. Foggy Bottom could use a good house cleaning.

    Well, sad to say, it looks like everyone has turned on Poor Ted. His approvals are sinking faster than the Titanic.
    In any case, it’s now time to hammer on the correct targets, the Democrat National Disaster Convention. Debbie Downer is out as DNC head and the damn thing hasn’t even started yet.
    The paranoia from the Cankles Campaign is running rampant thanks to Wikileaks.
    And to top it off, now someone found what looks like a “Pay to Play” scheme selling federal jobs to big campaign donors.
    I think the Democrats are going to provide one heck of a show, now that it’s proven that Cankles, Debbie Downer and the DNC did rig the primaries to sink Comrade Bernie Sanders.

  27. 27
    Terrapod growls and barks:

    Heh! Being stuck where only CNN and other progzy news is piped in, am having a great time watching the CNN anchor bimbos in hysterics over the DNC melting down.

    Can’t wait for the open warfare phase when the Bernites lob flaming poop bombs at the party elites…. this is the most fun I have had in weeks or at least since I heard Wasserman took a hike :em01:

    Phase III will be the baby blue helmets and truncheons, oh still my beating heart!!! in the words of the great Don Martin.

    Warsaw is not bad this time of year, but they do have to get rid of their new muzzy problem, Jan Martel must be spinning n his grave.

  28. 28
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Terrapod @ #:

    this is the most fun I have had in weeks or at least since I heard Wasserman took a hike

    Debbie Downer has flown the coop…literally. She won’t even be gaveling the convention open or closed. She’s flown out for Florida.
    She has a primary opponent and I think Debbie Blabbermouth has just become the underdog in that race.

  29. 29

    There is so much precious stuff still waiting. Gotta love it.