Listen, Fellow Cruzers

Our old buddy Mike brought this up again in a post we encourage you to read in its entirety:

Know what I like best about frothing Trump-haters? They’re never obnoxious, arrogant, or personally insulting.
Except, of course, when they are.

Trump supporters, no one should let you off of that bandwagon now. You should be handcuffed to that Titanic you volunteered to crew.
Donald Trump didn’t suddenly change in the past few days, weeks or months. He’s the same guy he always was, the same guy that most of us in the conservative movement and GOP have been staunchly opposing for the past year. He didn’t abruptly become reckless, obnoxious, ill-informed, erratic, hot-tempered, pathologically dishonest, narcissistic, crude and catastrophically unqualified for the presidency overnight. He’s always been that guy, and you denied it and ignored it and hand-waved it away and made excuses every step of the way because you were convinced that you were so much smarter than the rest of us. You were so certain that you had received some superior wavelength giving you special insight into the Donald; only you could tell that it was all an act. Only you could grasp that his constant courting of controversy was just to get attention from the media. Only you could instinctively sense that his style would play brilliantly in the general election and win over working-class Democrats. (SPOILER ALERT: It isn’t.) You insisted that you could “coach him.”

You came to those conclusions not because you’re smarter than the rest of us, but because you’re actually more foolish than the rest of us.
Well, I’m certainly persuaded! To whom do I apologize for my rank stupidity, and where’s the line to climb contritely back on the wheezing, sclerotic, go-along-get-along Republican “juggernaut” again?

This is how some of you attempt to patch the party back together? Really? Are you absolutely batshit fucking insane?

First off: If you’re trying to convince any current Trump supporters that they should drop their choice and go for Cruz instead, and we fervently pray that they will, then you’re doing it wrong. Calling people idiots, racists, xenophobes, misogynists, Nazis, low brow inbred cousin-fuckers etc. etc. isn’t going to convince them. Yes, we know, it’s shocking to you “super-intelligent” pundits, just ask you how intelligent you are, but insulting somebody’s intelligence and heritage is not likely to win very many hearts and minds.

Perhaps you should finally take that IQ test that you’ve heard about but been too afraid to actually submit to because you weren’t sure of the result, because you sure as hell don’t seem all that smart to us. And yes, we did take the test.

The problem here is, for those of us who actually do have a brain, and a very analytical one at that, is that too many potential voters have been fucked up the Khyber Pass for decades, holding their noses and voting for scumbags they didn’t even remotely believe in just because they hoped that maybe, this time, the scumbag wouldn’t be as much of a scumbag as the last one. The problem here is that the “party” had been treating their bread and butter, their base, as mindless, brainless, cheap whores to be used and thrown away because they’d always come back the next time, and that said party hasn’t, has refused to, wake up to the fact that said base is waking up to the fact that they’ve been treated like cheap whores.

And the response is to insult them further?

Once again we ask ourselves: Of all the planes that could have been brought down on 9/11 through heroic action on part of the passengers, why did Flight 93 have to be the one? The one targeted at Washington DC? And why, in a happy alternate reality, wasn’t that plane loaded with a 500 megaton nuclear device?

All of the district of Columbia could disappear tomorrow and the only response from the world would be a massive sigh of relief.

We know that there isn’t enough booze in the Republic of Texas to adequately celebrate OUR massive relief.

The bottom line is, however, that at the end of this crazy primary lies a general election, and at that point we all have to choose sides, whether we like it or not.

If some of you have reached the point where you just can’t vote for the Republican candidate if his name is Trump we understand you.

Believe us, we do.

We held our nose for McCumStain in 2008 because we hoped that he would croak within fifteen minutes of being sworn in so the President would be Sarah Palin. We held our nose in 2012 because, well, four years of socialism is enough for any sentient human being. But we hated it both times. So if some of you can’t stand it anymore, we get it. We really, really do.

Our very personal and by no means perfect reasoning tells us that if we stay at home in that case, we guarantee four more years of NotMyPresident Obumfuck whereas, with President Loudmouth, there is at least an outside chance that we might get something better.

But, at any rate, we’re still in it together and we need all of us to turn this ship around.

Thatisall.

27 comments

  1. 1
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    in a happy alternate reality, wasn’t that plane loaded with a 500 megaton nuclear device?

    Well, for one thing, the biggest nuke was only about 50 megatons, and fof another, I read that anything above 200 megatons just vents into space. (Blasts out of the atmosphere)
    :em03:
    Smaller nukes are more efficient which is why the U.S. doesn’t bother with the big multi-megaton ones much.
    Otherwise, we should take off and nuke them from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
    :em01:

  2. 2
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    I don’t want the Rethuglican wing of the Amerikan Statist Partei to recover, I want it burned to the ground and all surviving ringleaders decorating lampposts and trees. Same for the Demoncrat wing.

  3. 3
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    Fuck em all with a saguaro using straight capsaicin for lube.
    And damnit the edit isn’t working.

  4. 4
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    Once again we ask ourselves: Of all the planes that could have been brought down on 9/11 through heroic action on part of the passengers, why did Flight 93 have to be the one? The one targeted at Washington DC?

    Because Boss Bog wasn’t done with the place, & maybe He’s still not. The capital belongs to us Usonians anyway, & it might behoove us to prepare for the day when we might occupy it without resistance.

    VonZorch Imperial Researcher @3.

    And damnit the edit isn’t working.

    Hasn’t in months, if not years. Our Imperial Tech Wizard’s powers may have declined. 🙁 I have to inspect my own output more closely, & sometimes there’s a goof anyway. :em04:

  5. 5
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    Trump’s value isn’t as a candidate. It’s as a murder weapon for the GOP. With any luck he both literally and figuratively Red Weddings the convention.

    The worse, the better.

  6. 6
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    I continually have to ask why the GOP establishment is devoting so much time to tearing down Trump. Sure – if Trump is elected it may well destroy the GOP as we know it. So, what’s wrong with that?

    Cruz is in bed with many special interests. His wife, Heidi, is a Goldman partner, a CFR member, and one of the architects of this so-called “free trade” bullshit we’re about to get rammed up our collective arse.

    I really don’t care if the party is destroyed – the bastards have been “partying” on the citizens’ dimes for far too long. Maybe some of that destruction will waft over to the demoncrats side as well, taking many of those worthless SOBs down as the steamroller goes on its way.

  7. 7
    tweell growls and barks:

    My trust level for the GOPe is zero. It’s been over twenty years since they backed up words with actions. The Democrats have a better track record for honesty, they’ll occasionally admit they’re going to screw us over.

    Trump may betray us. The other candidates already have.

  8. 8
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    tweell @ #:

    Trump may betray us.

    I doubt he will, not intentionally. He might be thwarted though.
    :em06:

    The other candidates already have.

    That goes without saying.
    :em02:
    FYI
    Ryan has primary opposition.
    :em01:

  9. 9
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    I continually have to ask why the GOP establishment is devoting so much time to tearing down Trump. Sure – if Trump is elected it may well destroy the GOP as we know it. So, what’s wrong with that?

    Obviously–as you may already know–there would go their nice Republican careers!

  10. 10
    LCBrendan growls and barks:

    . He’s the same guy he always was, the same guy that most of us in the conservative movement and GOP have been staunchly opposing for the past year.

    Yes, we know.

    People are supporting Trump for the very reason that the GOP IS NOT conservative in the least. People are supporting Trump because the GOP has the worlds track record for dropping trou, bending over and pleading for Obama to “do it HARDER.”

    Get it now?

  11. 11
    single stack growls and barks:

    People are supporting Trump for the very reason that the GOP IS NOT conservative in the least.

    So the Trumptards intend to nominate an authoritarian opportunist who is NOT conservative in the least.
    Yeah, that’ll show ’em.
    Foot, meet Bullet.

  12. 12
    LCBrendan growls and barks:

    So the Trumptards intend to nominate an authoritarian opportunist who is NOT conservative in the least.

    If you want authoritarian, nanny state, regulatory, corrupt..go give Hillary some tongue.

    Idiot.

  13. 13
    LC R6 growls and barks:

    So the Trumptards

    Rather than have a cogent argument with you after that little jewel all I have to say is after Trump is elected I hope you are so distraught that you smash your own teeth out on the grill of a passing Semi.

  14. 14
    LC R6 growls and barks:

    I have a question, and pardon me if it has already been discussed and answered here because I have been of necessity long absent.

    When I first joined this community it was during the 2004 presidential election. I found a group of like minded individuals that had the proclivity of using colorful invective and the occasional word “poop” to both vent and convey their frustrations with our establishment class and its utter disregard for We The People.

    I’ve read a bit in the last few days about how Cruz seems to be the favorite of this community and I am simply dumbfounded.

    For years the hope of having someone to represent our anger, resentment and desire to see the system “blown up” was front and foremost and for years that dream has been bushed, mcshitstained, milqtoasted and obumfucked.

    Now we have an individual, Donald Trump, that has been an insider only so much as he has bought and paid for his seat, openly I might add, at the table of corruption that we so despise and but espouses blowing up the system. He scares the beejeesus out of EVERYONE, in and of itself enough reason to support him.

    Even if he turns out to be the worst president this country has ever had isn’t the possibility, even the most remote POSSIBILITY, that he will in fact blow up the system and at least leave a vacuum to be filled by someone that will bring the country back to sanity, enough to put all of your reservations aside and give the man the chance to be what he claims he will be?

    Cruz, no matter how much he contends to be, is a creature OF the system. He has made enemies of the elite no doubt, but he is still District of Columbia as much as Spartacus was branded with the House of Batiatus’ captial B and did things in the honor of his house that went against his principal.

    Give Trump the White House for four years. There is absolutely no possibility that he could do worse than obuttfuck and as a college educated, more than 100K/year earner and white man (with a 1/4 more Cherokee in me than elizabeth warren), I think he will bring this country back to its Reaganesque stature in the world.

  15. 15
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    LC R6 @ #:
    :em01: :em01:

  16. 16
    Tallulah growls and barks:

    Ted has been using Leftoid arguments against Trump lately. I’ve supported him and donated to him, but I’m giving him up.

    1 — He lost the South, which was his best shot at winning primaries. Therefore, there’s no way he can perform well enough in the rest of the country, where there is a fair amount of prejudice AGAINST evangelicals and Texans.

    2 — Too far behind in the delegate count. There is No Way he can win all but 15% of the remaining votes, y’all. Not Possible.

    3 — The Establishment swine ONLY gave him grudging, insulting “endorsements” after they saw he can’t make it — and only to make him the main kamikaze to take out Trump. At this point, his campaign is just a bigger version of Kasich’s.

    Therefore: If we’re going to have a prayer of defeating the Reds and Pinkos — and we must!!! — we must unite behind Trump. Welcome him to the Fight; thank him for his positive contributions and his reawakening of Americans’ PATRIOTISM (that’s what’s really firing up his crowds). Reason with him about what he’s doing wrong, but show the man some respect and stop spitting on him.

    We. Need. Allies.

  17. 17
    Tallulah growls and barks:

    I’ve been waiting to her what Stefan Molyneux would say about this after a thorough analysis. I really like him. This is what he said about the Michelle Fields nothingburger:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYjrHVTJ67c

    I noticed that her alleged bruises, in the photo she posted to the internet, were on her FOREARM, while Cory Lewandowski grabbed her by the BICEP. As you can see in the various videos!

    Amazing what a little matte eyeshadow can do, innit?

    The whole kerfuffle is a HOAX. Utter bullshit.

    But did anyone FACT-CHECK this ludicrous claim? ANYONE?

  18. 18
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    LC R6 says:

    I have a question, and pardon me if it has already been discussed and answered here because I have been of necessity long absent.

    As to “why Cruz?”, my personal thing is that I like him more, because he has all of the right enemies. Then again, the same can be said of Trump. My reservations about Trump can best be boiled down to “I just can’t predict him”, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s anything wrong with him, I just have to pick one, yanno 🙂

    As to the rest… One of the frustrating things about this particular primary, at least to me, has been that both sides have been so rabid in their disagreements, making it kind of hard to have a reasoned discussion about anything. If you listen to one group, Trump is the Messiah, and if you listen to the other, he’s Satan Incarnate. There aren’t very many of those of us who live somewhere in between.

    But, bottom line, as long as it isn’t some GOPe buttsnorkel like Mittens, I’m reasonably happy.

    And if it ends up taking the GOPe down? So? That’s a Bad Thing™ all of a sudden? 🙂

  19. 19
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    Ol’ Ted just needs to release a “Let’s go Cruz’n in my lowrider” bumper stickers and t-shirts. :em01:

  20. 20
    DJ Allyn, MPSE growls and barks:

    Misha, most of these “new people” that Trump claims to have brought into the Party were NEVER part of any political party up until now. Most of his supporters never got involved with or paid attention to politics at all until Trump gave them permission to be assholes.

    They didn’t start becoming assholes when Trump started running — they were always assholes. Trump just gave them permission to come out from under their collective rocks.

    So why the need to try and meld them into the Party?

  21. 21
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    DJ Allyn, MPSE says:

    They didn’t start becoming assholes when Trump started running — they were always assholes. Trump just gave them permission to come out from under their collective rocks.

    Oh, I wasn’t talking about the “newcomers.” Besides, they’re not so much “assholes” as people who’ve finally been allowed to say out loud what we’ve all been thinking for decades but thought nobody else agreed with. If nothing else, we can certainly thank Trump for finally shoving a claymore through the rotting heart of PC 🙂

    No, I meant otherwise reasonable people that I’ve listened to/read/watched for years who’ve suddenly become frothing fanatics. Take Kevin “The Working Class Just Needs to Kill Themselves, Filthy Peasants!” Williamson, for instance. I never knew he fancied himself a member of the aristocracy but if he does, all I can say is that he doesn’t meet the criteria, not to mention that he doesn’t have the first clue as how to be one.

  22. 22
    LC R6 growls and barks:

    They didn’t start becoming assholes when Trump started running — they were always assholes. Trump just gave them permission to come out from under their collective rocks

    Suddenly being an asshole is a compliment. Anything you don’t like deej I feel deserves another look in a beneficial light.

    Anything you hate doesn’t require a second look. Its the way to go.

  23. 23
    LC R6 growls and barks:

    I just have to pick one, yanno

    I do know. Thanks for the clarification.

    I guess my inclination toward Trump is three fold.

    1) He is an extremely successful business man and impulsivity doesn’t coincide with that kind of success which gives me a level of gemütlichkeit about his bluster.

    and;

    B) He pisses everyone off that I think needs to be pissed off

  24. 24

    DJ Allyn, MPSE says:

    They didn’t start becoming assholes when Trump started running — they were always assholes. Trump just gave them permission to come out from under their collective rocks.

    well, at least those “assholes” are letting the election process run it’s course unhindered, unlike the democrat street puppets who think it’s patriotic to shut down an opposition candidates rallies through harassment and intimidation.

  25. 25
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    Emperor Misha I @ #:

    Take Kevin “The Working Class Just Needs to Kill Themselves, Filthy Peasants!” Williamson, for instance. I never knew he fancied himself a member of the aristocracy but if he does, all I can say is that he doesn’t meet the criteria, not to mention that he doesn’t have the first clue as how to be one.

    Well, he’s got the wanting to slaughter the serfs bit down, that much is clear.

  26. 26
    irish19 growls and barks:

    Emperor Misha I @ #:
    :em03: :em03:
    :em01: :em01:

  27. 27
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    The Boston Globe came up with a fake front page regarding a Trump presidency. The editorial that’s tied into it is hilarious in it’s complete and utter failure to understand why the GOP race is down to Trump and Cruz. But then it is the Boston Globe.
    :em07:
    So bad you can’t even line a bird cage with it. It could cause the bird to develop avian diarrhea, and the amount that would come out would probably kill the poor thing.
    :em06: