Another Cult Embarrassed

It’s just not a good time to be a cultist, is it?

Papers that describe harmful effects to animals fed genetically modified (GM) crops are under scrutiny for alleged data manipulation. The leaked findings of an ongoing investigation at the University of Naples in Italy suggest that images in the papers may have been intentionally altered. The leader of the lab that carried out the work there says that there is no substance to this claim.

[...]

They describe experiments on goat kids born to mothers fed on GM soya-bean meal and conclude that fragments of the foreign gene in the soya bean can be transported across the gut and secreted in the milk, influencing the biology of the suckling kids.

Cattaneo noted what looked like problems in all three papers: sections of images of electrophoresis gels appeared to have been obliterated, and some of the images in different papers appeared to be identical but with captions describing different experiments.

Don’t they understand that’s how science is DONE? Deniers!!! Just as we all know that satellite temperature measurements are lying and absolutely, totally inferior to Michael Mann’s magical tree which can, down to a tenth of a hundredth of a degree and a fraction of a millisecond, tell what the temperature on any place on the planet was at any point in time, past, present and future!

Listen, kids. We’re not saying that there aren’t any dangers whatsoever associated with messing around with genes, because there are. But absent modifications that directly produce toxins (and those are generally tested for rather thoroughly, as killing off your customers with cyanide poisoning is a piss poor business model) or cause new species to wipe out entire ecosystems…

Let’s just say that you cultists give “stupid” a bad name. Those “monster genes” aren’t going to magically travel through cell membranes in your digestive system and give you radioactive breath or three arms, that’s not how digestion works. No, really it isn’t. Trust us. It’s science. Actual science. We’re always reminded of visiting one of those magical food supplement stores that we have overseas and seeing “hemoglobin tablets” on sale for, you know, treating anemia.

We feel sorry for the poor underpaid girl working behind the counter, because she must have thought we were having a seizure, what with all the hysterical laughter and gasping for breath and all. She was a smart sort, though, because once we got done explaining to her how proteases work we could see her immediately beginning to question the intelligence of her employer. We probably shouldn’t have told her that the only way for those magical tablets to work, other than utterly disregarding the human digestive system, would be for the “hemoglobin” in the tablets to be, well, human.

She looked a bit sick at that point. Perhaps she’d been taking some of those pills on her breaks.

Granted, DNA is not a protein, but we assure you that the various and sundry aggressive soups bubbling about in your gut aren’t exactly kind to those either. Otherwise eating too many steaks would give you horns and make you want to ruminate a lot. Which, admittedly, would turn mowing the lawn into much less of a chore.

Those ignorant anti-science cults are really getting a bit tiresome, you know. Not to mention that their “Frankenfood” hysteria utterly ignores the fact that every bit of produce they buy in a store and shove in their pie holes, no matter how many “Totally Not GMO” stickers the store has plastered on them to con the shmucks into paying more for their goods, is very heavily genetically modified. Over thousands of years of selective breeding and cross-breeding.

Oh, and readily available and affordable insulin? Got a diabetic in your family? You’re very, very welcome, you drooling window licker. No, we actually don’t extract it from sheep pancreases anymore. You probably don’t want to know where we do get it from, though.

No, really. You don’t. Trust us on this one. It does have to do with genetic engineering, as we’re sure you’ve already guessed, you just don’t want to know what, exactly, it was that we modified.

Thatisall.

5 comments

  1. 1
    LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology growls and barks:

    Granted, DNA is not a protein, but we assure you that the various and sundry aggressive soups bubbling about in your gut aren’t exactly kind to those either.

    Indeed. And that’s the very reason diabetics can’t take their insulin orally. Be it Lantus™, steak or a certain artificial sweetener that turned 50 last month, they’re all just inconvenient corpses to the stomach’s Walter White.

  2. 2
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology @ #:

    Be it Lantus™, steak or a certain artificial sweetener that turned 50 last month, they’re all just inconvenient corpses to the stomach’s Walter White.

    Who knew that the digestive system would “Break bad?”
    :em05:
    angrywebmaster recently posted..Cankles sinking in the polls faster than in 2008My Profile

  3. 3
    Libsareb Raindead growls and barks:

    you just don’t want to know what, exactly, it was that we modified.

    e-coli? Of course, they can always demand that OdeathpanelCare cover the cost of raising non-GMO sheep.
    Libsareb Raindead recently posted..Was 9/11 A ‘Mass Crashing’?My Profile

  4. 4
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Libsareb Raindead says:

    e-coli? Of course, they can always demand that OdeathpanelCare cover the cost of raising non-GMO sheep.

    Dammit, now you just went ahead and ruined it. Yes, indeed. Affordable insulin comes from Evuhl GMOs, poop bacteria swimming in giant tanks of poop soup.

    Of course, if any diabetic anti-GMO nutcases would like to commit suicide for The Cause™, then… well, if you absolutely must, then we suppose it would be uncivil for us to oppose it.
    Emperor Misha I recently posted..OK, That’s Just RidiculousMy Profile

  5. 5
    Libsareb Raindead growls and barks:

    Apologies, my Liege. Perhaps we could extend their and their lives’ Contribution to Humanity Hilarity a little bit longer by raising their awareness of “open source” e-poop.