Because, why not?

It sure is amusing as Hades watching the ever so clever “analysts” from inside the Beltway and the DNC Steno Pool twist themselves into pretzels trying to come up with ever more offensive interpretations of the expression “getting schlonged” in order to please their queen, Hiiiiiillary!

It’s even more amusing how they’ve suddenly forgotten that this expression, which means nothing more than “getting screwed”, the allegedly most sexist, misogynist, possibly RAYCISSS word in the history of words, was used years ago… by NPR.

The panic is certainly spreading. So saying that the Hildebeest got schlonged, which she’s unlikely to have been since… when was the year before Chelsea was born again?, is right OUT and quite absolutely positively sure to cause Trump to crash and burn. Got it.

So “got screwed” is OK? “Cock slapped,” maybe? “Bent over a barrel?” “Beaten like a red-headed stepchild?” No, that last one is quite obviously gingerphobic.

We got nuttin’.

No schlong, huh? Bloody Jew-hating bastards.

Instead, we wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and thanks, from the bottom of our Imperial heart, inasmuch as we have one, rumor has it that it’s nothing but a single molecule of blackest coal, for sticking around on this little web hangout of ours.

May you all have all that you wish for, and may 2016 be a happy and prosperous one!


UPDATE: Since we can’t abide the thought that anybody, anywhere, is more offensive that we are, we’ve decided on our very own way of describing The Cankled One’s defeat to Princess Precious Perfect:

She got shtupped by a shmekel.

Beat THAT one, Trump, you amateur!

0 0 votes
Article Rating

By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
BC, Imperial Torturer
December 24, 2015 00:22

The last time Shillary got anything close to a “schlonging” was when Helen “Arafat’s Ass-Play Whore” Thomas spent a long weekend fisting her while wearing her favorite “Incredible Hulk: Fists o’ Fury”, in the XXXL size.

December 24, 2015 04:57

Is it true that Cankles had Thomas’s rotting corpse disinterred so she could “Talk to the hand” as it were?

And my Xmas sucks. Just got back from the emergency room. Seems I broke some ossified tendons in my shoulder when I was blasting away with my AR last weekend

December 24, 2015 06:16

Excellent “Young Frankenstein” reference there old boy! I for one wish fervently that Hildebeest gets shlonged all the way to November, to the point she “fell and can’t get up” without Medic One.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all members of the Rott family and circle of friends. May the new year bring blessings, wealth and health.

LC FX Phillips
LC FX Phillips
December 24, 2015 11:11

Good to see you back and barking Emperor. :em01:

Merry Christmas to all who come here and even those who don’t.

December 24, 2015 11:43

And to all, may I wish you and yours a very politically incorrect Christmas. Feel free to through a yule tide liberal log on the fire.

LC Beaker, Imperial Photographer
LC Beaker, Imperial Photographer
December 24, 2015 19:18

Merry Christmas to all. I’ve been away from here for far too long, and it’s been nice over the last month or so to get reaquainted with what was once my first stop when I fired up the computer. I’m ashamed to admit that I forgot how much I loved it here. I wanted to pass this along. It’s been… Read more »

December 24, 2015 20:18

LC Beaker – congratulations on that fine young lady you are raising. I too have had a wonderful early present – today youngest graduated with a degree in Computer Science and announced he already has a job – no gap, no muss, no fuss. We are drinking a wee dram in celebration! Best of luck and may the new year… Read more »

Library Czar
December 24, 2015 21:20

I’m sure she has never been asked if she “Would you like another schnitzengruben?

Those are only for the Little Peeples :em02:

LC Mike in Chi
LC Mike in Chi
December 25, 2015 09:28

BC, Imperial Torturer @ #: Well, there was the time Huma gave her a bashing with that weiner-thingy she keeps in her night stand at home. Overheard off-mic at a town hall meeting: Huma: “I’ll give you another go, Hill, but I think you bent it a bit to the left.” Hilly: “I’d like to use it on Rush Limbaugh,… Read more »

LC Mike in Chi
LC Mike in Chi
December 25, 2015 09:36

Oh my yes, of course…
Merry Christmas all y’all, from the south side of Chicago.
Stay safe, keep your neck on a swivel and your chin up.
Mike Howard

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
December 26, 2015 10:42

Merry CHRISTmas, y’all. And one might hope that Hitlery might even be touched by God’s hand. Smitten, even.