80% of Our Fellow Citizens are Retards…

As revealed by this article found at Ace’s.

A recent survey by the Oklahoma State University Department of Agricultural Economics finds that over 80 percent of Americans support “mandatory labels on foods containing DNA,” about the same number as support mandatory labeling of GMO foods “produced with genetic engineering.”

So… 80% of Americans support warning labels on 99.9% of all food products because DNA [cue scaaaaary music written specifically for vegetables. Bipedal vegetables, that is].

And yes, we do mean warning labels, as in:

WARNING: This product contains deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA). The Surgeon General has determined that DNA is linked to a variety of diseases in both animals and humans. In some configurations, it is a risk factor for cancer and heart disease. Pregnant women are at very high risk of passing on DNA to their children.

The article then goes on to try to be nice about those 80% functional morons walking among us without supervision:

For many people, there is little benefit to understanding much about genetics or DNA. Most Americans can even go about their daily business perfectly well without knowing that the Earth revolves around the sun. Even the smartest people are inevitably ignorant of the vast majority of information out there. We all have to focus our time and energy on learning that information which is most likely to be instrumentally useful, or at least provide entertainment value. For large numbers of people, much basic political and scientific information doesn’t make the cut.

All of which is true. Of course, His Imperial Majesty would suggest that not including “what is DNA?” among things that sentient beings ought to know is setting the bar awfully low, unless we’re talking about pre-schoolers, but we’ll concede the point. Nobody should be required to know everything about everything in order to avoid the label “stupid.”

But what IS undeniably stupid no matter which way you spin it is to, when faced with a question about which you know nothing at all, not check off “I don’t know.”

Which explains a lot about our elections.

Thatisall.

13 comments

  1. 1

    OMGOMGOMG!! – It’s that Monastat thingy – we’re all goonnna die!!

  2. 2
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    Pregnant women are at very high risk of passing on DNA to their children.

    Bwahahaha! Oh, the humanity!

  3. 3
    FrJim, Imperial Chaplain growls and barks:

    America the Great has quickly become America the Stuttering Idiots’ Paradise.

    No wonder our overlords think we are all dumb as bricks.

    -Jim+

  4. 4
    LC Guy S growls and barks:

    They need to go one step further and make note (in big bold black letters) about Dihydrogen Monoxide!! It’s in damn near everything…and is a killer!! After all, it’s for the children!!!

  5. 5
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    Yes!! BAN Dihydrogen Monoxide. And Bioxide too, it’s just as deadly and causes fires!!!!!

  6. 6
    LC SecondMouse growls and barks:

    Damn. We are all going to need much bigger cluebats.

  7. 7
    Eric Praline growls and barks:

    “Warning: spilling DNA on clothing can cause serious side-effects.”
    -Bill Clinton

  8. 8
    LC hilljohnny growls and barks:

    my concern is not whether the answer is dumb, but rather how was the question phrased. was there a statement like ” GMO foods may contain mutated DNA ” ?

  9. 9
    Mark growls and barks:

    “I’ve never understood…”

    BJ, you have never understood anything.

  10. 10
    LC SecondMouse growls and barks:

    I have been watching liberal cerebellums detonating (they are small, so no collateral damage) on Twitter over the Tom Cotton/Senate letter to Iran. The complete lack of comprehension of the situation coupled with total ignorance of history and the sheer certainty that they are right makes for pure theater-of-the-absurd. If there is good news, at least some of them have learned there is this useless thing called the Logan Act.

    It also suggests that Misha’s 80 percent may be a bit low.

  11. 11
    bruce growls and barks:

    when you eat these foods they do pass their dna into your cells.i learned that from my wife who until she retired was a clinical laboratory scientist she knows about this kind of stuff.these assholes are just a bunch commies who want to control everything in our lives.

  12. 12
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    bruce says:

    when you eat these foods they do pass their dna into your cells.i learned that from my wife who until she retired was a clinical laboratory scientist she knows about this kind of stuff.these assholes are just a bunch commies who want to control everything in our lives.

    Bruce, as somebody who spent his entire adult life in the sciences and specifically in the fields of medicine, biology and related sciences, I can assure you that every bit of that is untrue. Except for the bit about communists being all about control of everything, which is entirely accurate.

    For DNA to pass into your cells and become part of you, you need a plasmid of DNA and a vehicle that can not only transfer it through your cell membranes but also attach itself to your DNA. You furthermore need it to add itself to a cell that rapidly reproduces in order for it to replace and “take over” your original DNA which, in an adult organism, is next to impossible. Next to impossible.

    Said mechanism would have to pass through your digestive system which is specifically designed to break down, blend, chew to pieces everything that is thrown at it without modifying it at any point along the way which IS pretty much impossible and THEN target specific cells that are capable of taking over everything. That IS impossible at this point.

    This is not to say that genetic engineering is impossible, as a young medical student, student mind you, I learned how very frighteningly easy it is to modify a single-celled organism like a bacterium to be impervious to any and all antibiotics that we currently know of, but humans are not single-celled organisms and we have a very extensive and complex built-in system to identify and destroy anything that is “not us”.

    If it WERE that simple to introduce new genetic traits to human beings, cancer wouldn’t exist anymore as it would only take a magic pill to teach our cells to brutally murder any cancer cell in our body.

    Also, eating a spider would immediately give you superhuman strength, allow you to spin webs and let you liquefy anything you bit so you could eat it with a straw.

    Bottom line is: You do not, in fact, “become what you eat”, because your digestive system won’t let you. You can eat nothing but fish your entire life, but it will neither make you a better swimmer, nor will it allow you to breathe underwater.

  13. 13

    Eric Praline says:

    “Warning: spilling DNA on clothing can cause serious side-effects.”
    -Bill Clinton

    Badumbump, tssssss.