And the “Idiot of the Week” Award Goes to…

Chief Norm Jacobs of Beloit, WI, for this:

According to Wisconsin Public Radio (WPR), Jacobs asked for volunteers because that’s how he has seen healthcare providers handle viral outbreaks. WPR quoted Jacobs saying: “Gun violence is as serious as the Ebola virus is represented in the media, and we should fight it using the tools that we’ve learned from our health providers.”

He hopes city residents will volunteer to have police come and go room-to-room, drawer-to-drawer, closet-to-closet, to search for guns and raise awareness of the seriousness of “gun violence.”

We can only surmise that Chief Jacobs is either joking or being misquoted, because that is the most insanely stupid thing we’ve read all week. Pardon our cynical nature, but we seriously doubt that the individuals committing gun violence will be opening the doors to Beloit’s finest so they can confiscate their guns.

On the other hand, being a deeply cynical Emperor, we see an opportunity here too. Should this nation take an even darker turn (which we seriously doubt, given how we seem to have truly reached Peak Proziism in this nation), and should police be tasked with actually confiscating guns (and even more unlikely, decide to follow such orders), it would make sense for a law-abiding American to quietly send his firearms off on an unscheduled vacation to a friend and then invite the PD in to “go room-to-room, drawer-to-drawer” in order to get on the list of “good citizens” right before getting his guns back.

But then again. Fuck no. We’d go with “probable cause. Heard of it, fuckheads?”

Thatisall.

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tweellangrywebmasterLC SecondMouseirish19KArnold Recent comment authors
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fporretto
fporretto

For maximum safety, the residents of this unfortunate community should set down, in writing, witnessed, notarized, and deposited with an attorney, that they do not consent to such a search. Otherwise, the door would be open later to claims by the police that they had received oral authorization to search some resident’s home, when in fact no such authorization had… Read more »

ckuecker
ckuecker

He’s totally serious. “If you suspect there’s an illegal gun in your house, call us and we’ll find it.”. Totally voluntary, and he needs the permission of someone who lives in the house. If there are others living in the house who don’t give permission, their rooms can’t be searched. Or so he says. I can only imagine the “search”… Read more »

Azygos
Azygos

Chief Jacobs, or should we call him Standartenführer Jacobs? At what point does a “request” become an order? Anyone of us who have served know there is no such thing as the 1st Sergeant requesting you do something. Even more so for the Company Commander.

Qoheleth
Qoheleth

I’m sure that when they start putting together the boxcars to take us off to the camps, they’ll be soliciting volunteers for the first trainloads. Put me down as a “no,” mmkay? Thanks.

I wouldn’t volunteer for a free home search any sooner than I’d volunteer for a free ticket to the Kanamit homeworld.

irish19
irish19

fporretto says: For maximum safety, the residents of this unfortunate community should set down, in writing, witnessed, notarized, and deposited with an attorney, that they do not consent to such a search. Otherwise, the door would be open later to claims by the police that they had received oral authorization to search some resident’s home, when in fact no such… Read more »

LC SecondMouse
LC SecondMouse

The only real public service that could come out of something like this is if the list of people who volunteered to have the police come search their home was made public so the rest of the area population could keep track of the absolute morons they need to avoid like the plague. If I was a suspicious person (and… Read more »

angrywebmaster
angrywebmaster

Speaking of idiots, Greenpeace did it again.
:em08:

irish19
irish19

LC SecondMouse says: The only real public service that could come out of something like this is if the list of people who volunteered to have the police come search their home was made public so the rest of the area population could keep track of the absolute morons they need to avoid like the plague. If I was a… Read more »

tweell
tweell

I hate to disagree with Our Emperor, but have to in this case.

“Should this nation take an even darker turn (which we seriously doubt, given how we seem to have truly reached Peak Proziism in this nation)”

Things can always get worse. Always.