There’s a Problem Here?

So we guess the next Big Story to keep people’s minds off of the numerous crimes of King Obola and his Prozi Democrat Party is how the CIA brutally tortured innocent brown people while lying to the poor innocent Prozi Democrats about it, the Prozi Democrat who were baying for blood and howling for retaliation right after 9/11 but now suddenly “knew noffink, NOFFINK, I tellz you!”

Ah, those lovable scamps of the Prozi Party. If they had half the compassion for the plight of their fellow countrymen that they lavish upon muslim mass murderers, this country would be in good shape. Sadly, they do not.

So it’s caterwauling time again, more pointless, sanctimonious drivel about “torture” and waterboarding, which, for the record, isn’t torture. Any Prozis who’d like to know what torture is are welcome to ask us for a demonstration. We’re quite well-versed in the methodology and implementation thereof, although we have, thankfully, never been called upon to use those particular skills.

Waterboarding, as well as other enhanced interrogation techniques do no harm, they leave no damage, and they’re very, very effective when it comes to making people sing like canaries. Most times even the threat of their application is enough to bring results. And with the promise of more Happy Fun Times should the information provided turn out not to be entirely true, the results are usually very useful.

Most of all, though, we really, really don’t understand what’s supposed to be so damnably “controversial” about being mean to barbaric, muslim savages. Here, a quick visual aid:

No, that's not Superman going for a recreational spin in the air

No, that’s not Superman going for a recreational spin in the air

See that?

Now please, explain to us again why His Imperial Majesty, or anybody else with a shred of human decency in their body, should give one flying solitary fuck as to what the CIA did or didn’t do to Khalid the mass murderer? At the very least give us one good reason why we should be in the least bit upset that he got water sprinkled in his face so we could get information that kept tens of thousands more pictures like the one above from becoming reality.

Just one. We’ve got all day. But make it a good one, will you?

Personally, we wouldn’t mind one bit if we were to find out that they’d jammed sparklers up his urethra and lit them on fire to get him to talk. Heck, the CIA could have done that to the miserable, subhuman sack of rancid goat semen just for funsies and we would still be fresh out of fucks to give.

Yet we’re supposed to be “gravely disturbed” that they splashed water in his face to make him talk?

Seriously???

Jumping Jehosaphat on a Pogo Stick, but this nation has gone completely round the bend and into silly-willy land.

If there is one reason why this Long War is still an ongoing project, it would be this.

9/11 was 13 years ago.

You know what we were doing 13 years after we got into WWII? We were commissioning the first nuclear powered submarine in the world and the Krauts and Nips were about as likely to look funny in our general direction as they were to land a man on Mars. They still are, by the way.

I hear people say that they’re weary of the Long War. I understand. I’m weary of it too. But mostly because I’m tired of us not fighting it, at least not fighting it to win it. Instead, we’re sending our best and bravest off into meat grinders with both arms tied behind their back, told that they’d better be nice and gentle with the beasts trying to murder them or we, the nation that they’re fighting for with a courage and dedication second to none, will treat them far worse than we ever treated Khalid Sheikh Mo-ham-head.

So we’re supposed to be upset about this upcoming “torture report?”

His Majesty will be, unless it turns out that we really did use those sparklers.

Thatisall.

5 comments

  1. 1
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    Any Prozis who’d like to know what torture is are welcome to ask us for a demonstration. We’re quite well-versed in the methodology and implementation thereof, although we have, thankfully, never been called upon to use those particular skills.

    Would His Majesty care to enlighten us on the source of his education in those Evil Arts? :em03:

  2. 2
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    The Democrats, (AKA Progzi’s), care only about one thing. Power and the accumulation thereof. They see handing this country over to our enemies as a way to gain more power unto themselves, they will do it in a heartbeat.

    What’s worse about this “Report” is that it was wrong in many ways and is even now being discredited by everyone. The next president should strip every single member of that committee, R & D of their security clearances and see to it that the Senate appoints members who aren’t idiots or traitors. There is precedent. See Patrick “Leaky” Lahey and why he was removed from the committee.

  3. 3
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    LC Xystus says:

    Would His Majesty care to enlighten us on the source of his education in those Evil Arts?

    Mostly literature, as well as official lessons in “things you are absolutely NOT allowed to use with prisoners of war (nudge, nudge, wink).”

  4. 4
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Emperor Misha I @ #:

    “things you are absolutely NOT allowed to use with prisoners of war

    Good thing the RIF’s are not POW’s but “Enemy Combatants.” I guess that means we can rip the skin off them and feed it to a goat.
    :em01:

  5. 5
    fporretto growls and barks:

    It’s high time we thought seriously about torture and when it might be morally justified.