Hairy Wilde-beast terrorizes Columbus OH

The OH department of Wildlife and Preservation was called in to downtown Columbus Ohio today when a rabid Wilde-beast was mistakenly allowed to escape it’s minimum wage cage at Burger King and terrorize citizens.

Wildlife officers said that this species is extremely low in intelligence but highly aggressive and should be treated with the utmost caution. They also noted that a marked increase in sightings of these dangerous beasts of prey are becoming increasingly common as more and more decent people are forced to work in inner city hell hole liberal utopia of next Tuesday environments to eke out a meager existence in the gilded age of Obama-nomics, and find themselves suddenly in the breeding grounds of the Hairy Wilde-beast and the just as dangerous White Crack-Ho and Black Ghetto rat.

The Hairy Wide-beast is a sub-species of Hom0-Erectus, believed to be the blow by product of two or possibly 3 or more doped up smelly flower children rutting like pigs without adequate birth control, which was recently outlawed by the Hobby Lobby.

The species is easily identified by the incessant screaming of incoherent sentences such as “jingoist fucking asshole” and “white privileged motherfucker”. Noted for their violent outbursts they are prone to trample on fellow citizens First Amendment Rights, and spout such profound witticisms as “No uterus No Opinion”. It is further thought that this species emulates Nazi theological thought patterns and would gladly stuff every “white privileged racist asshole” they happen to disagree with into a box car at the point of a gun, to be delivered to the nearest Zyklon-B Facility.

Further identifying features according to Ohio’s Wild Life Control officers are – EBT Cards hanging out of their pockets, bulging pants and or blouse seams stretched to the breaking point by cellulite, rotten protruding teeth often accompanied by chronic halitosis, sloping or protruding brow, and an overwhelming stench of rancid french fries and rotted pickles.

While not completely clear,  scientists think the Hairy Wilde-Beast to be a close cousin to both the White Trash Crack-Ho and Black Ghetto-Rat, with blood ties to Hillary Clinton and Bill Ayers still being investigated. It is however, know for fact the species is  heavily influenced by NOW NARAL, NAMBLA, Wendy Davis, and the Pajama Boy of Obama’s ACA Commercials.

Asked what one should do when confronted with a Angry Hairy Wide-Beast – The OH Department of Wildlife spokesman  stated “Shoot the thing in the head. Empty your magazine. It’s the only sure way to avoid being mauled and possibly contracting fucktardliberalitis”.




  1. 1
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    I just read this on Hot Air. I like your version much better. :em01: :em05:

  2. 2
    BC, Imperial Torturer growls and barks:

    The Kosmical Ironicalness of that ass-ugly sack of shit protesting about abortion rights is that, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get knocked up if she broke into the local sperm bank while packing a 25-hp turkey baster shaped like Rosie O’Donut’s fist. The poor sperms would commit mass suicide and her crotch would look like an airport crash truck from the foaming high-pressure exodus.

  3. 3
    LC Ohio Right Wing Nut growls and barks:

    BC, thanks for that image, you, my friend, are the master….but G-d please no photoshops. :em06:

  4. 4
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    LC Ohio Right Wing Nut @ #:

    .but G-d please no photoshops.

    Photoshopping that creature could only improve it. Why seeing Hillary Clinton, Janet Reno and Michelle Obama naked and doing a Ménage à trois would be brain bleach compared to this..thing.

  5. 5

    How can someone be so violently passionate about killing babies?

    Evil. Pure, narcissistic evil.

  6. 6

    do you know what song was going through my mind while I watched that hog spout her filth?

    Boom Boom Out Go The :Lights

  7. 7
    LC Gregory growls and barks:

    I suspect there will be an opening very soon at a Columbus Burger King. And good luck explaining THAT firing at your next interview.


  8. 8
    LC Mike in Chi growls and barks:

    The liberals self-loathing and divisive tactics can’t deter our commitment to those that cannot speak; for their right to be given a chance to live and prosper is the same as me, a man.
    If I can’t have an opinion on some one because I lack ovaries, how on Earth can I address anyone’s wicked behavior unless I too possess their inherent traits? That is ideological clap-trap and will result in the further decline in population of the movers and shakers that change the national landscape through innovation, design, wealth creation and industry.
    Us breeders should always be on guard to any who says “a barren womb is a blessing’, ‘a child has no place in this wicked world’.
    With 0’s border pass “Give-A-Way”, not only does he disenfranchise young blacks in the labor force, it should be stressed as a betrayal to the young blacks who want to work. That could have helped stem the tide of non-citizens. 18,000,000+ viable black children slaughtered since Carter.
    La Raza is the new Black.
    I should have eaten the red pill.
    This contrived Prog-Matrix is looping to the absurd.

  9. 9
    KArnold growls and barks:

    Hang on, everybody — I think we should all take a deep breath, count to ten, and on reflection, give a little credence to at least one thing this poor, maligned freak of nature has to say. I mean, have a little pity, brethren and cistern! This creature was obviously the product of a bad upbringing by neglectful, ProgNazi egg-and-sperm donors, and can’t be held fully accountable for her wretched and mistaken beliefs. That, and of course the obvious lack of sex in the last eight to ten years (I mean, come on, would you? I’m sure as hell not volunteering for that detail) which might relieve some of that highly-strung, antisocial attitude of hers.

    But consider: “you don’t have a uterus, so you don’t get to voice an opinion about reproductive rights.” I’m willing to compromise on that point a bit.

    By the same token, I don’t believe that anyone who has not owned a firearm and gained some experience with it beyond playing Call of Duty has the right to voice an opinion about the Second Amendment.

    I don’t believe that anyone who has not owned and operated a business has the right to have an opinion about taxing business, minimum wage rates, how that business ought to be run, or fair employment practices.

    I don’t believe that anyone who has not served in the military during a war has the right to have an opinion about war, and especially to dictate what the rules of engagement ought to be in a given theater.

    You see how this reasoning goes, right? We could draft all kinds of similar resolutions for weeks. Good for the goose, goose for the gander, and all that.

    Of course, do we have any reason to believe that the progtards will recognize the logic inherent in this line of reasoning, and either accept ours, or abandon their own?

  10. 10

    KArnold @ #:
    Excellent points. The problem is that I wouldn’t want to see that mongoloid beast contort herself to rebut them.

    Now Jessica Alba? There’s a libtard I would like to see twisted into a few “awkward” positions. :em01: But not this thing. :em06:

  11. 11
    LC R6 growls and barks:

    How can someone be so violently passionate about killing babies?

    She wasn’t. Someone invited her to a Cunt Bumper party knowing she was a couple of sandwiches shy of a picnic and they rubbed her nipples a little. They then told her if she went out and behaved in this fashion they would rub other more tingly parts (secretly vowing to wear industrial strength rubber gauntlet gloves). In anticipation of having parts she has never seen before rubbed she dutifully found a target and let 30 years of sexual frustration pour out onto the unsuspecting victims.

    She would have eaten aborted fetuses naked on an overpass had they told her to.

  12. 12
    Special Ed growls and barks:

    brethren and cistern!

    Love it. Thanks.

  13. 13
    BITOA growls and barks:

    Bitoa’s Dreg Report::

    University Offers Female Students Extra Credit For Not Shaving Pussies…

  14. 14
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    BITOA @ #:

    University Offers Female Students Extra Credit For Not Shaving Pussies…

    Much to the relief of felines everywhere!

  15. 15
    Eric Praline growls and barks:

    I’d like to thank all of you. Mentioning this gelf and sex repeatedly in the same paragraph has caused my dick to retreat into my body. I now have an innie. Urinating should be interesting. The only solution I can think of is drinking until today has been wiped from my memory.

  16. 16
    Special Ed growls and barks:

    brethren and cistern!

    Love it. Thanks.

    Shoulda said “Love it. Tanks!” Dammit! sigh …

  17. 17
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Eric Praline @ #:

    I’d like to thank all of you. Mentioning this gelf and sex repeatedly in the same paragraph has caused my dick to retreat into my body. I now have an innie. Urinating should be interesting.

    Let us know if the alcohol treatment works or if the condition is permanent. If the latter, we can market it as a new nonsurgical method for a sex change procedure. We could make millions!

  18. 18

    “No uterus No Opinion”

    Ok Hefer, I got one, and an opinion to go with it. Do yourself a favor and take a bath, and wash your hair. Google Hair Brush and learn to use it. You’ll thank me for it. Go enroll in Tech School and learn an actual employable trade and get the hell out from the behind the BK counter. Spending your entire life saying “Would you like fries with that?” is no way to live, and neither is going through life with a nasty ass temper because you have managed to repulse just about every living male that isn’t entirely brain dead.

  19. 19
    Eric Praline growls and barks:

    angrywebmaster @ #:
    I got good n ripped and spent some time over at Soylent Green’s, that coaxed him out thank God. If he didn’t come back, I was worried I might have to marry some scrawny Kenyan tard outta Chicago.

  20. 20
    LC Xealot growls and barks:

    She says that at 12 weeks it is “just a clump of cells” and “you can’t see hands.” That’s bullshit. Fetuses are recognizable human in shape by around 9 – 10 weeks. You can definitely see the hands and it’s not just a clump of cells by then.

  21. 21
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    LC Xealot @ #:

    She says that at 12 weeks it is “just a clump of cells” and “you can’t see hands.”

    Since she’s nothing more then a clump of cells, perhaps we should abort her.