Now that the crunchie brood is safely home and I have proper interwebtubiethingy access (Praise be to algore’s invention), I can write an after action report of the debauchery.

Day 1 was a beautiful, albeit a bit late, start. It was beautiful because we were once again able to see dear friends, too long in the absence. The previous Friday we stopped in Orlando on the way to Memphis (Where we spent 5 days with Crumb Crunchie, his wife, and my grand daughters Peewee and Coozeberry) and picked up some rifles and ammo for Cheapshot so that he didn’t have to pay the airline extortion and submit to the TSA’s loving mercies. Cheap was already there waiting on his toys, as was Clambake. I also had the chance to meet LC God and Country, a Rottfest cherry. More on his Fest virginity and the proper deflowering thereof later.

On Friday the Bacchanalian depravity began in earnest. Sir M once again demonstrated  his skills with meat. Our malevolent and vile Emperator graced us with his presence and Cheapsot and Clambake were knighted. My Princesses and the Heirs soon ensconced themselves in the living room ostensibly to watch The Lord of the Rings. Soon though they were making trips into our area and putting weird hats on myself and Misha. Turns out they were playing Truth or Dare. Fortunately there were some very good ground rules so I wasn’t forced to kill anyone.

Radical Redneck arrived, and Two Girls, One Cup was fortunately not played. Much alcohol was consumed and many brain cells were mercilessly slaughtered. The first casualty was God and Country who passed out in the living room. When he awoke in the morning he learned all about “If you die first we’re splitting up your gear”, as well as just how mischievous two ten year old girls can be.

Saturday was range day where we met up with Aggie and Mr. Aggie. My Israeli lady had many thousands of rounds pumped through her, as did many other sundry firearms. G&C redeemed himself by very quickly becoming quite proficient with any gun he picked up, especially the Uzi. I never though that she would respond so well to a man with multicolored fingernails.

Once back at the house many more gallons of booze met their demise, including LC Draco’s favorite scotch brought by the Aggies in his honor. He truly had some good taste.

LC Staci showed and brought along the newest Rott, her hubby who is a retired Viper driver. He was very gracious in allowing a dumb ass grunt to chew his ear with stupid questions about the F-16, even after I changed his call sign to LC Scrotum. It’s always a pleasure getting drunk and sharing sea stories with two Colonels. Eventually the conversation turned to the much more important and dear to our hearts topic of mommy parts.

Staci’s shirt came off.

Clambake got naked.

We never did find Aggie’s lighter.

On Sunday we delayed our departure long enough to finally meet R6 in person. A true pleasure, only marred by the fact that we had to get on the road and leave such great friends.

I know that I have missed a few highlights but that’s what we have the comments sections for.

I would be remiss if I didn’t thank Mrs. M and Sir M for once again opening their home to us reprobates. It was truly great to see y’all again, and I hope that we don’t have to wait so long to do it all again.

By LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.

Former USMC infantryman, proud father of a current USMC infantryman and two Princesses who know what that means. Currently an NRA law enforcement firearms instructor, radar instructor, CPR instructor, a few others but you get the point. Catholic, conservative, heterosexual, gun owner, anything I can do to piss off liberals.

Comments are closed.