Rottfest 2014 After Action Report

Now that the crunchie brood is safely home and I have proper interwebtubiethingy access (Praise be to algore’s invention), I can write an after action report of the debauchery.

Day 1 was a beautiful, albeit a bit late, start. It was beautiful because we were once again able to see dear friends, too long in the absence. The previous Friday we stopped in Orlando on the way to Memphis (Where we spent 5 days with Crumb Crunchie, his wife, and my grand daughters Peewee and Coozeberry) and picked up some rifles and ammo for Cheapshot so that he didn’t have to pay the airline extortion and submit to the TSA’s loving mercies. Cheap was already there waiting on his toys, as was Clambake. I also had the chance to meet LC God and Country, a Rottfest cherry. More on his Fest virginity and the proper deflowering thereof later.

On Friday the Bacchanalian depravity began in earnest. Sir M once again demonstrated  his skills with meat. Our malevolent and vile Emperator graced us with his presence and Cheapsot and Clambake were knighted. My Princesses and the Heirs soon ensconced themselves in the living room ostensibly to watch The Lord of the Rings. Soon though they were making trips into our area and putting weird hats on myself and Misha. Turns out they were playing Truth or Dare. Fortunately there were some very good ground rules so I wasn’t forced to kill anyone.

Radical Redneck arrived, and Two Girls, One Cup was fortunately not played. Much alcohol was consumed and many brain cells were mercilessly slaughtered. The first casualty was God and Country who passed out in the living room. When he awoke in the morning he learned all about “If you die first we’re splitting up your gear”, as well as just how mischievous two ten year old girls can be.

Saturday was range day where we met up with Aggie and Mr. Aggie. My Israeli lady had many thousands of rounds pumped through her, as did many other sundry firearms. G&C redeemed himself by very quickly becoming quite proficient with any gun he picked up, especially the Uzi. I never though that she would respond so well to a man with multicolored fingernails.

Once back at the house many more gallons of booze met their demise, including LC Draco’s favorite scotch brought by the Aggies in his honor. He truly had some good taste.

LC Staci showed and brought along the newest Rott, her hubby who is a retired Viper driver. He was very gracious in allowing a dumb ass grunt to chew his ear with stupid questions about the F-16, even after I changed his call sign to LC Scrotum. It’s always a pleasure getting drunk and sharing sea stories with two Colonels. Eventually the conversation turned to the much more important and dear to our hearts topic of mommy parts.

Staci’s shirt came off.

Clambake got naked.

We never did find Aggie’s lighter.

On Sunday we delayed our departure long enough to finally meet R6 in person. A true pleasure, only marred by the fact that we had to get on the road and leave such great friends.

I know that I have missed a few highlights but that’s what we have the comments sections for.

I would be remiss if I didn’t thank Mrs. M and Sir M for once again opening their home to us reprobates. It was truly great to see y’all again, and I hope that we don’t have to wait so long to do it all again.

15 comments

  1. 1

    The first casualty was God and Country who passed out in the living room. When he awoke in the morning he learned all about “If you die first we’re splitting up your gear”, as well as just how mischievous two ten year old girls can be.

    (((Pic click here)))

    Saturday was range day where we met up with Aggie and Mr. Aggie. My Israeli lady had many thousands of rounds pumped through her, as did many other sundry firearms.

    A few pics on my Facebook page.

    Staci’s shirt came off.

    And I was slumped over passed out, as she gave my neck a bikini-top lap dance. At least I have the pictures. And no, I’m not sharing. You weren’t here? Your loss. Some things that happen at Rottfest, stay at Rottfest.

    Clambake got naked.

    I can neither confirm nor deny that. But don’t doubt it in the least, as I woke up outdoors, got “comfy”, and walked in the back door to discover people were still up and partying. I came back in a few seconds later with my shorts on.

    I would be remiss if I didn’t thank Mrs. M and Sir M for once again opening their home to us reprobates. It was truly great to see y’all again, and I hope that we don’t have to wait so long to do it all again.

    No prior attendee has to wait for next year. Our guest room is always available, just give us a head’s up. Our home is yours.
    LC Sir M – Imperial Tobacconist™, K.o.E. recently posted..Today’s Bible ReadingMy Profile

  2. 2

    LC Sir M – Imperial Tobacconist™, K.o.E. says:

    I woke up outdoors, got “comfy”, and walked in the back door to discover people were still up and partying. I came back in a few seconds later with my shorts on.

    I’m glad I missed that.
    LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..Rottfest 2014 After Action ReportMy Profile

  3. 3

    LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. says:

    I’m glad I missed that.

    :em05:
    LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E. recently posted..You know how various bands cover songs?My Profile

  4. 4
    LC Sir Cheapshot911, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    I gotta say, LC God and Country had a great ‘tude about his manicure,, especially after he saw how much fun the artists had doing it. ‘Glad to know him.

  5. 5
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    What? No videos? Haven’t you heard of “What happens at Rottfest Stays on YouTube? :em05:
    angrywebmaster recently posted..Next under the bus, Chuck Hagel!My Profile

  6. 6

    More than $5000 in car repairs in the course of four months or so kept me from coming down this year. And now, I’m depressed – not just because I missed it, but because I’m out $5000. 29 ID can attest to my anger. He bears the brunt of it every time he sees me. That said, it sounds like everyone had a blast. Nat and I discussed the possibility of coming down, but it just wasn’t in the cards.
    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch recently posted..Lying Liars And The Lies They TellMy Profile

  7. 7

    We never did find Aggie’s lighter.

    It was YOUR lighter, Crunchie, and you never did look hard enough ;)
    LC Aggie Sith, a goddess, only different, G.G.O.R. recently posted..Hooker of the WeekMy Profile

  8. 8
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    LC Aggie Sith, a goddess, only different, G.G.O.R. @ #:

    It was YOUR lighter, Crunchie, and you never did look hard enough

    You guys have lighters? WOW! I didn’t know you were that rich. I have to bang the rocks together.
    :em05:
    angrywebmaster recently posted..Obama golfs as the world burnsMy Profile

  9. 9

    Oh, and a small correction. The Russian Standard vodka was Draco’s favorite. The bourbon is Mr. Aggie’s :D
    LC Aggie Sith, a goddess, only different, G.G.O.R. recently posted..Hooker of the WeekMy Profile

  10. 10

    LC Aggie Sith, a goddess, only different, G.G.O.R. says:

    It was YOUR lighter, Crunchie, and you never did look hard enough

    Well. certain lines shouldn’t be crossed, no matter the temptation. Or the temptress. :em05:

    LC Aggie Sith, a goddess, only different, G.G.O.R. says:

    The Russian Standard vodka was Draco’s favorite. The bourbon is Mr. Aggie’s

    My mistake. That wing of brain cells must have been slaughtered that night.
    LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..“Mind You, It’s A Very Hungry Dog!”My Profile

  11. 11
    LC Sir Cheapshot911, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    angrywebmaster @ #:
    There’s some footage from the range in the mill.
    Somethin’ gooey on the lens nixed the party shots.

  12. 12

    LC Sir Cheapshot911, K.o.E. says:

    Somethin’ gooey on the lens nixed the party shots.

    I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!!! :em05:

  13. 13

    LC Aggie Sith, a goddess, only different, G.G.O.R. says:

    LC Sir Cheapshot911, K.o.E. says:
    Somethin’ gooey on the lens nixed the party shots.
    I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!!!

    Don’t want to know? Hell, you’re partly responsible for it! :em05:
    LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..Traitors at HomeMy Profile

  14. 14
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Ok, Now I want to know. :em05:
    :em07:
    angrywebmaster recently posted..John Oliver on Net NeutralityMy Profile

  15. 15

    angrywebmaster says:

    Ok, Now I want to know.

    Nope you don’t. I had to put in an extra order for bleach to clean up the err……evidence. :em05: