Posts belonging to Category Stupid Goblins'

There Are Several Reasons Why You Should Never Hit a Woman

…this is yet another one of those reasons. Yes, His Imperial Majesty thinks that it’s just about too perfect to not be fake, but it is so flat out magnificent that you just have to see it. (h/t LC Igor) Thatisall.

It’s Really All About Choosing the Right Tool For the Job

Which, of course, we all know. Which is why you don’t bring screen door netting if you’re sent out to fix an exterior hatch on a submarine. Or, you know, attempt an armed robbery with a bat. Did we mention that the store this particular goblin tried to rob was a gun store? (H/t Sipsey

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Shockingly Stoopid

Literally - W. Va. Man Electrocuted After Shooting Down Power Line To Steal Copper  A man was electrocuted when he picked up a live power line that he had shot down in order to steal copper from it. Another low information voter meets his much overdue demise. And there was much rejoicing and revelry in the Empire!

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Why Yes, Yes She WOULD!

And now that we’ve ruined your lunches, we feel that we owe you one of those heart-warming, encouraging stories for which this site has become justly infamous. Thanks to our very own vigilant LC Mope, we have just such a story for you. Yes, we’re a giver. Thank you for noticing. Martha Lewis of Dora,

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Racist “White Hispanic” Vigilante Murderer Slaying Innocent Little Child™ Narrative Unravelling [UPDATED AGAIN]

As we suspected all along but, unlike the Enemy Media™, we prefer to wait until actual facts start coming in prior to issuing a verdict like, say, the Duke Lacrosse Rapists and Sister Mangum of the Chastisty Church™ narrative that worked out so well for the Enemy Media. (h/t Ace O’ Spades): Trayvon Martin may

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Marines… Don’t Fuck With Them!

First off, we have no recollection where we got this from, it was just sitting in an open tab laughing at us. So if you’re the source, please step forward to take a bow. Short version: LTC Karl Trenker, USMC, goes off to carry out the sale of a gold chain his fiancee has put

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This is When We Dance

And a warm thank you to LC Light29ID for trying to cheer us up in the Game 7 thread, even if it took us a while to find it. We appear to have found an exception to the “no good deed goes unpunished” rule, because this particular good deed will. No charges will be filed

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Another Stupid Goblin Gets His Dues

Thanks to LC Mike in Chi. EAST NAPLES — A clerk at a landmark East Naples corner store shot and killed a man Tuesday as he attempted to rob the family-run shop and flee with her 1-year-old daughter. It’s that whole “getting between a mother and her child” thing again. The single most dangerous place

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Loyal Citizens 1, Stupid Goblins 0

Via Bill Quick. INDIANAPOLIS – A customer standing in line at an east side Indianapolis auto parts store shot a suspected armed robber demanding cash, police said. Investigators said John Perry fired his handgun and struck Carlos Ortiz, 21, in the leg at the Auto Zone in the 1100 block of North Arlington Avenue Saturday.

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Amazing What Political Contributions Bribes Can Get You

While everybody is hyperventilating over how Merck allegedly bought an executive order for the bargain basement price of $5,000, news trickle out that the $535,000,000 of our money that Ogabelini gave to a company heavily backed by one of his chief bundlers bag men were not merely thrown out there for “services rendered”, but were

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Rough Sex is Bad for You

Thanks to LC Gregory: REFUGIO, Texas — Investigators say a man has died while in the act of raping an elderly South Texas woman. The Refugio County Sheriff’s Office identifies the man as 53-year-old Isabel Chavelo Gutierrez. Roll over, Johnny Cash. “A Boy Named Isabel????” Still, it’d be a bitch getting the rhymes to work

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