Posts belonging to Category Life in the Empire'

Meanwhile, Down Under…..

….we had a small wildlife problem. The rainforest-dwelling serpents can grow up to 8.5m long. Drive safely, folks….

So… Whappened?

First of all, let me apologize for my unconscionably long absence. There are reasons for it, but I should have put up a notice that I hadn’t died or left the planet. For those of you who worried, my most sincere apologies. Things have been hectic, not least due to the Empress’ sudden unemployment, and

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We Turn Our Backs on the Empire for a Few Seconds and…

Well, nothing much, really, the world is insanity 24/7 as per usual. Regardless, we’re back from a much needed vacation (and a vacation from the vacation), and we notice that the free ice cream machine needs a swift kick to the backside. Try as we might during our Imperial Retreat, we couldn’t keep the noise

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Numbed by Pain

I don’t even know how to begin this, so I’ll just ramble on. I just learned from Bill that my old friend, Kim, lost his wife Connie. Now, to say that I “knew” Connie and Kim would be the most horrid understatement that I ever uttered. Way back when I could barely type a post,

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(p)resident Zero Decides to Rub it in One Last Time

Apparently in an attempt to make sure that no Prozi “Democrat” will ever be able to walk down the street without being spat on. Good. Keep it up, you America-hating heap of rhinoceros shit, keep digging that hole so that no American may never forget just what a useless, worthless sack of abused skin you

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Hair of the Dog

Yes, yes, we know that it’s not Thanksgiving anymore, but we can still give thanks for things, can’t we? Such as: Thatisall.

It’s… Turkey Day!

Happy Turkey Day to all of you. I hope you don’t have to deal with too many garbage diaper-babies in your families hell bent on destroying the holiday, and I trust that you have a highly appropriate and merciless response if you do. You wouldn’t be Rotties if you didn’t. My main advice would be

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Even More Terrible News

We just got news that LC Purple’s wife now rests in the arms of the L-rd. May her memory never die, and may the Father who created us all grant her a place of honor by His side. Our prayers are with you in this dark time, Purple, and if any of you have a

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Regarding the Recent Samsung Recalls

Seen outside a store selling Samsung products: Sorry, couldn’t resist. Thatisall.

This Just Gives us the Fuzzy Wuzzies

Thanks to LC Mopester, we have this snapshot from a Trump Rally: To those of you younger Rotties, that shirt was part of the official Rottie Swag Line years back and, we have to say, it makes us more than a bit sentimental to see that they’re still around and being used, and used very

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Carlos Danger Strikes Again!

If this ends up the way it looks like, we just may never stop laughing again. The Hildebeest’s campaign destroyed by… Anthony Weiner and his pathological inability to stop sexting children? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! As we’re sure you’ve known for days, the FBI investigation into Weiner’s sexting minors history revealed a fresh pile of classified emails where

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Terrible News

It is with a heavy heart that we learn that LC Purple Raider’s wife’s cancer has taken a turn for the worse and has become terminal. A GoFundMe has been started to help with expenses, and if you have a shekel to spare, please consider it (details at the link above). I wish there was

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How About Marching Around in the Heat in 106 Degrees? Builds Character, You Know…

Ah, so it’s that time of year again. August is here and the neverending summer holiday is coming to an end. Actually, for the Imperial Heirs it’s come to an end already, because marching band in this country is not entirely unlike the military *chuckle*. Only Basic lasts for four years. We had a feeling

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Is This The Ballsiest Thing We’ve Ever Heard of, Or is This Guy Just Nuts?

Go forth and read, as LC & IB Angry Webmaster pretty much says it all. Short version: Guy is about to jump from a plane at 25,000ft with no parachute, no wing suit, and attempt to land in a net. Yeah, you read that right. Insane? Indubitably. Ballsy? Well, as they say, “the difference between

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What a Couple of Weeks it’s Been

We can’t turn our back on this country for five minutes without all of the shit hitting the fan. Simultaneously. Where to start? The Hildebeest not being indicted in spite of the FBI chief clearly stating she was guilty as shit, then going on to recommend she not be indicted? Yawn. Anybody surprised by this

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