In which His Imperial Majesty indulges his Inner RINO. At least we’re sure that we’ll be told that we do.
Is the Tea Party set to primary Scott Brown, who took over Swimmer Kennedy’s liquor cabinet and double-wide chair, for crimes against conservatism?
Granted, it is the Boston Globe, so we’re not entirely sure about their sourcing and quoting but, according to them, Scott’s acts of Heresy are the following, near as we can tell:
1) Repeal of DADT. Yes, we disagree with him on that one, but it is one of those cases where we, although we know which side we’re on, have to recognize that there are arguments to make for the other side. Not enough to sway us, but enough to have a reasonable and intelligent discussion where one can disagree without being disagreeable.
2) START. OK, that was a serious fuckup. Unless you’ve lived the past 55 years under a rock, you know that the gain of signing a nuclear arms treaty with Russia is entirely on the Russian side. The only side likely to adhere to the terms in that treaty are us, and that’s hardly what you’d call a mutually beneficial agreement. You can disagree with us all you want on that one, but we’ll just turn around and smack you over the head with almost six decades’ worth of evidence that you’re deluding yourself. Whether it will be a death blow to our status as a hyper-power is doubtful, but it sure as Hades isn’t to our advantage.
All it did was give Hussein Ogabe a “win” for the press to crow over when they would otherwise have been forced to admit that their Messiah had been taken to the cleaners.
And then there’s:
3) The tax cut extension deal. We’re still not quite sure how that can count as a minus on Scott’s ledger, but apparently the argument goes as follows:
Brown has also upset some former supporters by voting for President Obama’s compromise on extending the Bush era tax cuts, a plan some Tea Party activists oppose because it will add nearly $1 trillion to the deficit.
OK. Wait. Stop. Shut the fuck up. This is where we suspect that we’re listening to the Boston Globe’s spin rather than any actual Tea Partiers. “It’ll add nearly $1 trillion to the deficit?” How, exactly?
We will freely admit that we haven’t read every line item in that compromise, why should we when even our legislators can’t be arsed to read what they vote on?, but near as we can tell, the only major outlay in it was the extension of the 99-week unemployment benefits for another two years and, correct us if we’re hideously wrong, the cost of that one was about $54 billion or so. So where is the other $946,000,000,000′s worth of spending in it?
Unless they’re saying that the government NOT taking our own hard-earned money equals “spending”, in which case we’d like it very much if those “conservatives” would kindly go sit in the back of the class, stick a gun in their mouths and pull the trigger. Kindly roll out some plastic first so’s not to ruin the marble in the Imperial Palace. At any rate, we’re not listening.
I don’t ever, EVER want to hear anybody calling themselves “conservatives” equate tax cuts with “spending”, and if they insist on doing so they can quite unceremoniously go fuck themselves with highly unsanitary and sharp implements.
If there really, truly are individuals within the Tea Party who believe that letting citizens keep their own money is a government outlay, then we should be more concerned about starting a purge among our own ranks before we continue purging RINOs.
And as to agreeing to extending the 99 weeks of unemployment insurance being a “loss” or a “surrender”, we’ve only ever heard that retarded argument from conservatives who are already gainfully employed. But really, if you want to be the ones to go out and say “hey, it’s time the adults cleaned up the mess the Dem Cong and their Ogabessiah made, but you unemployed people who are victims of their crimes against our nation are on your own” and use that as a winning strategy…
Why don’t you just cover yourselves in BBQ sauce and jump into an alligator-infested swamp first, because that’s the exact same thing.
Millions of our fellow citizens have lost their livelihoods as a result of Ogabe and his National Socialist Democrat Workers’ Party. I don’t really think telling those people that we don’t give a shit is the way to show that we care and that we need them in order to clean up the mess.
So back to the point: Allegedly the Tea Party is ready to primary Scott Brown, the first non-communist Senator from Taxatwoshits since Karl Marx wrote “Das Kapital”, because of this?
Listen, if you can find a better candidate, then so be it. Ultimately it’s not for us to decide, it’s for the people of Massachusetts to decide, but really.
If you’re looking for useless shits who might as well be Dem Cong, you could start looking at Lousy Moo-cowshit (thanks a pants-load, Alaska!). Yes, we know that she can’t be primaried for quite a little while, but there are other ways. We could turn Alaska back into a territory so they’d lose their representation or, better still, we could sell them back to the Russians. We’d be screwing both the Russians and the pork-addicted fucks at the same time. If Putin is daft enough to buy them, of course. Or, alternatively, from what we understand about Princess Moo-cowshit and her “habits”, we could hand her a straw, a mirror, a razor blade and direct her to the nearest drift of snow and wait for her to die from hypothermia. Provided she doesn’t snort the whole mountain first, that is.