Those “pooooooor underpaid” TSA (Transportation SturmAbteilung?) must be getting really desperate for some simian-to-human physical contact (h/t the Imperial Library Czar).
That’s what happens, ladies and gentlemen, when you let the apes roam free outside of their cages.
Much to the dismay, we’re sure, of the gummint monkeys, the good citizen had the foresight to leave his cell phone on while they were busy behaving like a bunch of drunken brownshirts fresh from the Bierstube. (Follow this link to watch a 3-year-old being assaulted by a TSA brownshirt because, well… Er… We all know that Caucasian 3-year-olds in the company of their mom and dad are behind the recent epidemic of airplanes blowing up mid-flight or something).
When he refused a digital strip search and the apes, annoyed by his failure to submit, insisted that he get a “groin check”, he uttered the following words that are bound to become immortal:
“You touch my junk and I’m going to have you arrested.”
You put that on a T-shirt, citizen Tyner, and we promise you you’re going to make a killing.
Why Tyner was targeted for a secondary pat down is unknown.
No it isn’t, not if you’ve ever had a run-in with a uniformed Neanderthal low on intelligence and high on that lovely feeling of superiority that individuals with no worth whatsoever get from putting on a uniform. You can always tell the difference between a man and a puling little snot-nosed prick by the fact that if you give a man a uniform, he’s still the same man. If you ever make the mistake of giving one to a puling little snot-nosed prick, on the other hand, he instantly thinks he’s become the Lord of All Creation and act like, well, see “Germany, ca. 1933-1945.” In other words, the “dangerous, white, 6’1″ terrorist” Tyner dared say “no” to somebody who probably jacks off in front of the mirror every time he puts his uniform on in the morning.
Once he threatened to have the TSA agent arrested though, events turned surreal.
A supervisor is heard re-explaining the groin check process to Tyner then adding “If you’re not comfortable with that, we can escort you back out and you don’t have to fly today.”
Tyner responded “OK, I don’t understand how a sexual assault can be made a condition of my flying.”
“This is not considered a sexual assault,” replied the supervisor, calmly.
“It would be if you were not the government,” said Tyner.
Right again. Or, if you disagree, try groping somebody’s crotch against their will and tell us how that worked out for you.
“By buying your ticket you gave up a lot of rights,” countered the TSA supervisor.
Such as the right to not submit to sexual assault. One of these days, the airlines are going to realize what a fucking PR boom those Neanderthals are for their businesses.
But the TSA weren’t done yet:
Before he could leave, however, he was again surrounded by TSA employees who told him he couldn’t leave the security area. One, who kept insisting he was trying to help Tyner, told him that if he left he would be subject to a civil suit and a $10,000 fine.
Illegal threats, blackmail. Aren’t you glad that we “professionalized” airport security?
The same man who told Tyner he would be sued and fined if he left, also insisted that he did not tell him he couldn’t leave.
Add lying to the list. Unless, of course, somebody will explain to us how threatening somebody with a $10,000 fine and a lawsuit if they leave isn’t the same as telling them that they can’t leave. Of course, the brownshirt in question had no idea that Tyner was recording the whole thing. Bully for him.
Finally, Tyner had the following thing to say:
Tyner points out that every terrorist act on an airplane has been halted by passengers. “It’s time to stop treating passengers like criminals and start treating them as assets,” he said.
Exactly. You might want to expound a bit on that statement by noting that every single one of those terrorists halted by passengers on airplanes got ON the airplanes in the first place in SPITE of those knuckle-dragging, drooling, incompetent sucklers of the gummint teat TSA pricks.
What is it you do in the private sector with individuals and/or agencies that fail to deliver?
That’s right. Time to do the same here, and if anybody in DC is against that notion, then we suggest we terminate them too. You may interpret “terminate” in any way you see fit.