A massive, world’s largest clock (h/t Imperial War Minister Frank J.):
Saudi Arabia is hoping that the debut of what is said to be the world’s largest clock in Islam’s holiest city of Mecca will help establish the city as an alternative time standard to the Greenwich meridian.
If you go check out the photos, you’ll see that this latest marvelous achievement in pisslamic science amounts to building a grotesquely oversized replica of Big Ben. Golf clap. Wooo. We hear that NASA, in accordance with Boy King Ogabe’s new mission for them, has already dispatched a delegation to congratulate the Shoddy Retardians and make them feel really proud and important.
Let’s not be too harsh, though. It has only taken them several centuries to finally make it to clock-making. Who knows? Can electricity and hot and cold running water be far behind? Just don’t anybody please mention to them that the first thing we did after discovering how to make the infernal contraptions was trying to come up with ways to make them smaller, not bigger. It would surely break their sensitive, pisslamic hearts and cause them to burn down a few embassies in between shooting nuns in the back.
Oh, and since they now have the world’s biggest clock, it seems to us that it’s in dire need of the world’s biggest cleaning. We ought to be able to take care of that.
The new four-faced clock,
Which is twice as many faces as the average muslim.
which looms over Mecca’s Grand Mosque and is perched atop what is expected to be the world’s second tallest building when completed, is to enter a three-month trial period this week — the first week of the holy month of Ramadan.
Would it be ungracious of us to wish that all of its four faces happen to fall down in the middle of prayer time? Probably. Do we give a shit? No.
The clock reflects a goal to replace the 126-year-old Universal Time standard, also known as Greenwich Mean Time (GMT), which is seen as “colonial” by some Muslims. “Putting Mecca time in the face of GMT — this is the goal,” Mohammed al-Arkubi, manager of one of the hotels in the complex, told The Telegraph.
“In the face of?” Ah, that old-time fabled muslim tolerance. Can’t be long until Boy King Ogabe decrees that Mecca Time is now… er… party time. Like it’s 1099. Oops. Bad date. In the name of tolerance, of course.
“Before, we heard and saw famous clocks in the West,” Ahmed Harleem, an Egyptian living in Mecca, told AFP.
For centuries, to be exact. But they just couldn’t quite seem to figure out what made them… sorry… tick. No mention of it in the Hadiths.
“But today, we can as Muslims be proud of this giant project …
What? The world’s greatest monkey see, monkey do project? What are you going to do for an encore? The world’s largest piece of indoor plumbing? Come to think of it, if you can expand your scientific “breakthroughs” to giant toilets and make those the new “standard”, then perhaps we finally wouldn’t have to flush our Clinton Cistern five times to clear out the Obamas after our morning bowel movement.
it means an honor for a place, and time for me.”
…not to mention a barrel of laughs for us.