...2009 Archives...

Posts Tagged “Funny Shite”

Of course, I know it’s rather well into the wee morning hours (the fickle farkin’ writing-muse) , but the circadian rhythms are completely lost on this middle-aged  body of late. In addition to a fine mis-adventure yesterday, that regardless, was a real blast. my sleep cycle is a disaster zone (hey, can I get federal funding for that, mebbe ADA?).  No I’m not saying a damn thing about what, who or where that adventure arose or occurred. Being a rather careful observer of my surroundings, there appears to be a stampede-trend on cashing in on the Teh One’s election. Not that I’m all for a free economy, meaning companies can do what they want, but that being said, the pure foolishness of trying to “‘cash-in’ on chimeras will guarantee providing stock for your local dollar store and yard-sales in due course.  We’ve seen Obama victory hats, Obama look-alike used car commercials (from the ‘trendy’ section of Dallas, I might add), Montel Williams hosting TV ads (no relation to the brilliant Walter Williams) for this:  Obama Historic Commemorative Plates (SPEW WARNING)  for the mere price of $19.99 (plus S&H) you can have a ‘collectible’ crappy Chinese-made stoneware plate worth about $2 at Wal-Mart, with the visage of the Lawn-Jockey-In-Waiting imprinted on it with the inscription of the brilliant and fresh statement that “Change Has Come” beneath the well-retouched portrait, but wait…. you also get a “free” presidential coin for an even better deal. It’s a shame, no one can tell us exactly what change has or will come.

Of course, my Sith brain tells me that feminine hygiene products, geriatric supplies, adult toys (think vibrating ears), toilet paper, soap-on-a-rope (very popular with the LBGT folks)  and Bog knows what our wonderful free-market capitalist society will think of next.  Not that I’m in the least bit against, trying to earn a dollar on whatever some silly marketing execs and CEOs decide to sell and dupes are willing to pay for. It’s just that I can’t visualize it being a long-term investment market. Let’s say around the end of January, I’ll wager the ‘demand’ for these products will drop off and your local Big Lots or Dollar General stores will have them at bargain prices. I suppose the most disgusting product thus far, is the plate, offered at $19.99, I do suppose it could be a substitute for syrup of Ipecac. Just load it up and when the patient sees the countenance on the plate, nature will take it’s course. Likewise it seems that it could be a pricey alternative to pooper-scoopers, and I’m sure some Right Wing Death Beast will parley that into a nice shop job, much more precious that the cheap-ass stoneware plate that they’re hawking.  I did find it disturbing nauseating that Montel Williams is saturating the television commercials with cheesy colored U.S. coins in various denomination with Teh One’s visage looking down his nose and sharing space with George Washington and JFK.

Regardless, it’s a beautiful system we have of free-market trade when companies spend millions to produce products that don’t have any real value, only potential value as a mockery of something that hasn’t and won’t occur with the hopes the suckers buyers are willing to part with their hard-earned dollars to obtain. Old P. T. Barnum was right. A much better investment would be lottery tickets, that is, if congress leaves you ANY disposable income.

As I see it, they might want to consider hemorrhoid cream in that name brand, as following January 20th, we’ll all need it. Or perhaps, Lawn-Jockeys with hope and change may return to fashionable lawn statements.  Sorry that would be racists no? Please… hurt me again with that characterization.

The better view of this whole projectile-vomiting issue, is that capitalism is alive and well in Amercia today. Just don’t bet your retirement on an increased market value of a jug-eared, ward heel’s ability to actually do anything worth commemorating other than to buy an election by throwing any and all aspersions about his past acquaintances or actual record under the bus.

Unlike the History Channel show recently with a full-tilt socialist “economist” (that no one has heard of) blames the credit and housing crisis on unfettered free-markets, carefully deflecting the near-criminal aspects of execs and pressure from congress to move in that direction. Not unsuspected, he blames congress’ deregulation of the financial markets as the culprit. His ‘obvious’ solution is a massively regulated financial system, overseen by the gubmint to prevent a ‘29 depression from happening again.

I wonder if they’re considering bailouts already for plate and ball-cap manufacturers that hitched their wagons to the smoke and mirrors of a Hafrican Ward-Heel from Chicago. After all, W and congress both seem perfectly willing to help out bidness practices that no sane person would use. Why not?

Pardon me while I make another contribution to the porcelain bus.

F.E.T.E.  Sorry BC, it’s only appropriate here.

JB-

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