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Archive for January, 2009

LC Caveman sends a sad story about another tragic victim of the gun epidemic gripping this nation. Yet another sensless gun murder.

CENTERVILLE, Utah —  John, a porcelain commode gunned down in an accidental shooting at a fast food restaurant’s bathroom, has died. His age was not immediately known.

Check the rings.

The toilet was shattered by a bullet Jan. 12 when a man’s gun fell from its holster as he was pulling up his pants, police said.

Yeah, that’s what he claims anyway. Less embarrassing than admitting that the had lunch at Taco Hell.

Police do not plan to file criminal charges in connection with the incident.

Negligent Comodicide.

Christian Martinez, manager of the Carl’s Jr. where John was gunned down, held a memorial service Friday at the restaurant. He gave away bottles of John’s favorite toilet cleaner, Kaboom Bowl Blaster, to the eatery’s first 50 patrons.

Kaboom Bowl BLASTER huh? Isn’t that a little insensitive?

A Bountiful flower shop provided a large floral arrangement.

“In all my years, I can say without a doubt that I have never delivered for a toilet,” said deliveryman Doug Graham, “but I thought it was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. I got a kick out of it.”

A real kick in the ass huh?

Remnants of John hit and cut the gun owner’s arm, but he was not seriously injured.

Justified self-defense.

Police blamed John’s death on the gun and style of holster the man was using.

You see, guns and holsters are now conspiring to continue the pandemic of gun crime! Has The Brady Center been told about this?!

“He was survived by the men’s urinal and wash sink,” said Martinez. “He left us way too soon.”

OK, that’s it, I just can’t do this anymore. That shit is just way too much.

Comments 43 Comments »

Time for another weekend open thread, so I thought with tomorrow being Super Bowl Sunday I would post a recipe that’s great for get-togethers.   If you like Salami, this will be right up your alley.

Homemade Salami

INGREDIENTS

* 2 pounds ground beef
* 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
* 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
* 1/2 teaspoon mustard seed
* 2 tablespoons curing salt
* 1 tablespoon coarsely ground black pepper
* 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional)
* 1 teaspoon liquid smoke flavoring

DIRECTIONS

1. In a large bowl, mix together the ground beef, garlic powder, onion powder, mustard seed, curing salt, black pepper and liquid smoke. Mix in the red pepper flakes if desired. Roll the mixture into a 2 inch diameter log, and wrap tightly in aluminum foil. Refrigerate for 24 hours.
2. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Make a few slits in the bottom of the roll to allow the fat to drain when cooking. Place roll onto a broiler pan, and fill the bottom part of the pan with about 1 inch of water to keep the salami moist.
3. Bake for 90 minutes in the preheated oven. Remove from pan and cool completely before unwrapping the salami. Slice and eat as lunchmeat, or serve on a tray with crackers and cheese or cream cheese.

If your spice cabinet is like mine and you keep all the required seasonings on hand, it’s nice to save that trip to the grocery store for pre-made Salami,  when you can make it yourself and personalize the flavors.

Ok Pups, toss out your favorite party recipies!

Comments 36 Comments »

And before y’all start ragging on the Obamessiah for managing to not only perpetuate the previous RINO administration’s Hooveresque spending spree, but insisting on actually expanding it just like FDR (hmmm… funny how history just keeps repeating itself. Especially in nations where a majority of the population would have trouble reciting historical facts not mentioned on Oprah or American Idiot over the last two weeks), we find it incumbent upon us to mention that he does have plans for cutting expenses as well. We think that you can all guess where:

The Obama administration has asked the military’s Joint Chiefs of Staff to cut the Pentagon’s budget request for the fiscal year 2010 by more than 10 percent — about $55 billion — a senior U.S. defense official tells FOX News.

Last year’s defense budget was $512 billion. Service chiefs and planners will be spending the weekend “burning the midnight oil” looking at ways to cut the budget — looking especially at weapons programs, the defense official said.

“Billions for free abortions on demand, expanded welfare programs and general pork for the buying of votes, not one PENNY for defense!”

And in the middle of a global war too.

Now that’s Change™!

Not so sure about the Hope™, though, but let not your feeble little minds be troubled with that, 52™, there’s another episode of Days of Our Lives on. Don’t miss it!

Comments 71 Comments »

It looks like somebody at the FBI finally dug out the memo from under their stacks of donut boxes and empty coffee cups (h/t Sir Christopher):

The FBI is severing its once-close ties with the nation’s largest Muslim advocacy group, the Council on American-Islamic Relations, amid mounting evidence that it has links to a support network for Hamas.

All local chapters of CAIR have been shunned in the wake of a 15-year FBI investigation that culminated with the conviction in December of Hamas fundraisers at a trial where CAIR itself was listed as an unindicted co-conspirator.

One should note that the Holy Land Foundation was designated as a terrorist financer back in 2001, at which point the FBI froze their assets. Also worth remembering is that the overlap in personnel between the HLF and CAIR goes back at least as far.

So it only took the FBI 8 years to conclude that maybe swapping notes with an organization with friendly relations to terrorists wasn’t such a good idea? We must repeat the great Oracle, Tommy the Commie Dasshole: “You can’t professionalize unless you federalize!”

CAIR’s executive director, Nihad Awad, attended a post-Sept. 11 meeting with then-FBI director Robert Mueller, and he met with other top brass as recently as 2006.

Ahhh… The Good Old Days. Remember those? The “islam is a religion of PEACE” days, not to mention the days of Dubya’s Great National Kiss the Floor of a Mosque Tour™.

But that was before Awad was shown to have participated in planning meetings with the Holy Land Foundation, five officials of which were convicted in December of funneling $12.4 million to Hamas.

Er… Oops?

Prosecutors identified CAIR’s chairman emeritus, Omar Ahmad, as an unindicted co-conspirator in that trial, and Special Agent Lara Burns testified that CAIR was a front group for radical organizations operating in the U.S.

Yes, we remember those days as well. For months, the news were filled with reports of CAIR’s ties to HLF and Hamas and how we’d been nursing a viper in our national bosom, followed by news reports of CAIR offices being shut down all over the nation while suspected terrorist supporters were frog-marched off the premises.

Except we don’t. What we do remember is the loud noise of crickets chirping.

“This is an unfortunate legacy of the Bush administration’s misguided and counterproductive efforts to marginalize mainstream American Muslim organizations,” CAIR’s national office said in a statement to FOXNews.com.

You might want to check your calendar, dumbfuck. Then, when you’re done, we have to express our sincere envy that you seem to have been able to utterly avoid any mention of January 20th and what happened on that day.

“It is not surprising that we would be singled out by those in the previous administration who sought to prevent us from defending the civil rights of American Muslims.”

That would be the same administration that had your people train its FBI agents and financed parts of your outreach funding for terrorists programs? Damn. Hey, Dubya, now that you’re free, would you mind swinging by our house and oppress us a bit? $20 bills, non-sequentially numbered, if you please.

Comments 14 Comments »

al_gore_mr_freeze

This hasn’t been a very good week, scientifically and professionally-speaking, for Teh Great Green Goreacle™ and his Sycophantic Socialist Sockpuppet™, James “Taxpayer-funded Data? It’s MY Data & I’ll Manipulate It Any Damned Way I Want!” Hansen.  First, his former supervisor at NASA, Dr. John S. Theon, delivers a ClueClubbing™ of Ass-tronomical Proportions™, just in time for Algore’s perfectly-timed appearance at the ice-covered Senate Biggest Little Whorehouse on the Potomac™.

(Note: All emphasis ours—B.)

“I appreciate the opportunity to add my name to those who disagree that global warming is man made,” Theon wrote to the Minority Office at the Environment and Public Works Committee on January 15, 2009. …

So much for that mythological “consensus“, eh, Al and James?

“Hansen was never muzzled even though he violated NASA’s official agency position on climate forecasting (i.e., we did not know enough to forecast climate change or mankind’s effect on it). Hansen thus embarrassed NASA by coming out with his claims of global warming in 1988 in his testimony before Congress,” Theon wrote. …

Thus setting into motion the Stone of Stoopid™ that has turned into the Raging Rock of Retardity™, rolling ever-faster down the hill to destroy the capitalist economies and bring about he and his fellow ideologues’ Great Gaian Socialist Workers’ Paradise™.

“I was, in effect, Hansen’s supervisor because I had to justify his funding, allocate his resources, and evaluate his results,” Theon, the former Chief of the Climate Processes Research Program at NASA Headquarters and former Chief of the Atmospheric Dynamics & Radiation Branch explained.

Kind of like having to keep watch over a rabid, retarded weasel that keeps slipping out of its cage, sneaking into the drug cabinet and eating the Little Purple Pills®. Every time you turn your back on it, the bastard’s out humping the leg of some unsuspecting Congressman, begging for more and more money to keep pumping up its limp little member.

Theon declared “climate models are useless.” “My own belief concerning anthropogenic climate change is that the models do not realistically simulate the climate system because there are many very important sub-grid scale processes that the models either replicate poorly or completely omit,” Theon explained. “Furthermore, some scientists have manipulated the observed data to justify their model results. In doing so, they neither explain what they have modified in the observations, nor explain how they did it. They have resisted making their work transparent so that it can be replicated independently by other scientists. This is clearly contrary to how science should be done. Thus there is no rational justification for using climate model forecasts to determine public policy,” he added.

We hope that Hansen is wearing his Sooper Absorbent Depends® after that ClueEnema™. Go over and read the rest. It just keeps getting better.

And, to add insult to the rectum shredding adminstered by Dr. Theon,  one of the most respected forecasters on the planet, Dr. J. Scott Armstrong, pulls out the ClueClub™ and severely beats Hansen and his Pudgy Ponzi Pimp™ into the next universe.

We’d excerpt some of the good parts, but it’s a step-by-step dissection of the Glow Bull Worming Chicken Littles’™ entire fraudulent scam.  Go read it in its entirety and pass it along to all of your friends, family and enemies.  It’s going to be sweet watching this house of cards come tumbling down around Algore & his fellow Marxists’ heads.  We just hope that it’s not too late to put the brakes on and stop the coming economic and social train wreck being caused by these greedy cretins.  Our children’s  futures depend on it.

F.E.T.E.

Comments 109 Comments »

Open Thread

Apparently most of the Management™ have fallen asleep at the switch.  So it looks like I will be your backup tonight.  (The sacrifices I must make for all of you…)

This was Seattle’s “Hooverville” in the early 1930s.

I love old period photos — I’ve collected them for fifty years now.  I saw this one in this morning’s Seattle Times and the reason I really noticed it was I have one of the original prints of this one.

When I saw this picture this morning, one of the first things that crossed my mind was that there is no way anyone could do that now — it would take years just to get all of the permits…

Anyways, feel free to talk amongst yourselves.

Comments 166 Comments »

I know, we’ve been horribly delinquent in bringing you the fine rantage that our LCs are accustomed to. My and the Emperor’s apologies for that. What can you say? Sometimes, it just isn’t in the cards to connect with the Talk Radio Muse. Let not your hearts be troubled, for tonight we are BACK IN ACTION.

Starting at 8 pm CT, yes, that’s a necessary change for logistical reasons, I’ll kick off with “Tuesday Truth. Followed, at around 9:30 pm until whenever he has to kick his heels up and go to sleep, the Emperor Misha and “Keep the Homefires Burning”.

I’m available for chat on “tuesdaytruth” Yahoo IM. Misha can be reached at the same place as “emperor_misha.”

Join us and as always, expect an eclectic mix of tunes and talk.

Brought to you by your First Choice On The Intertubewebnet RadioCIA.

Comments 33 Comments »

Courtesy of the magic mulatto Obambi and his gun-grabbing fellow Demonspawn that you 52% morons gleefully elected.

Life in Britain:

A teenager was repeatedly stabbed in front of his 13-year-old brother before dying in his sister’s arms.

Stephen Lewis, 15, was attacked by a gang of youths as he left a charity event aimed at campaigning against youth violence.

The irony… It is KILLING us. Fortunately for us, only in a figurative sense. Poor Stephen was not so lucky. He died as a victim of “sensible gun laws” etc. etc. etc., all aimed at rendering the subjects of the socialist nanny state utterly helpless in the face of vicious predators. And we’re not just talking about their own government here.

Can’t wait to see that happening here too, thanks to the “52′ers”, whom I’d happily execute every single one of right about now.

It would count as self-defense, after all.

Fuckheads.

Comments 81 Comments »

We think they’re in order. At any rate, we’re going to have to put in a massive order for “We Told You So” drums, because one thing’s for sure: The one we have is not going to survive the severe banging it’s going to receive over the next four years. But hey, “52″, you got your token negro Messiah, so it’s going to be worth it, right?

So how is your “non-divisive, healing” Retard-in-Chief doing? Throwing millions into murdering the unborn, that’s what. Not that it should surprise anybody, at least not the 48% paying attention, who already knew that black racist Mengele had a past history of fighting tirelessly for the right to leave live born babies to die of neglect in linen rooms.

President Obama wisely kills abortion “global gag rule”

A new president and new era mean it is time for a refreshing new approach on the shortsighted gag rule, the provision banning federal funds for international groups that promote or perform abortion.

President Obama changed the rule, a swift move early in his administration that makes enormous sense. The new president has an undisputable mandate for change and that includes reasonable policy on women’s reproductive rights.

We note that it’s an editorial, which means that we can give them a pass on their usage of words such as “wisely” and “reasonable”, words that they obviously have not the foggiest idea as to the meaning of.

And we don’t really care where any individual human being stands on the issue of killing the unborn, that’s for them to reconcile with their Maker one day, but we thought that all of this ugly divisiveness and polarization was going to come to an end with the Dawning of the Age of Obamarius? Pardon us for saying so, but if you can think up anything more polarizing than forcing a large percentage of the taxpayers of this country to cough up billions to finance a practice that they find only slightly less repugnant than ripping the heads off of live kittens and having sex with the open throat wounds, then we’d like to hear about it.

Elsewhere, the Obamessiah demonstrates his economic ineptitude and colossal cluefuckedness by declaring, imperiously of course, that henceforth every state shall have the right to define its own boutique fuel and designer emissions and mileage standards again and that, furthermore, all cars, on average, must do 35 miles per gallon by 2020, if not earlier. He’d better start shitting those unicorns out right away.

Brilliant, Obambi, just farkin’ brilliant. That’s exactly what the struggling auto industry needs: Even more regulations making producing cars even more expensive and making them even less affordable to customers who are already refusing to buy them.

Hey, but we can always throw even more money at the unions automakers, can’t we? It’s only taxpayer monies, after all, so who gives a fuck as long as it buys votes?

6 days into The New Era, and already the socialist bastard is fucking up at a rate that would make Carter green with envy.

Watch out, Jimmuh, your place as Worst President Evah! may be in danger already.

Oh, and for the first (but certainly not last time):

WE TOLD YOU SO!

Idiots.

Comments 162 Comments »

Sounds good in theory doesn’t it, but try living it. It’s not a situation that I’d wish on my worst enemies. Forgive, my sounding a bit preachy here. Nonetheless it’s true and living it for real, is a burden. No doubt, the Creator has a different path for all of us, yet we still have our personal path to take, regardless of the peaks and valleys we face, along with the personal challenges. We are facing individually and collectively the greatest challenge our beloved republic has faced. We have installed a Commander-in-Chief that has no experience or a clue of what it takes right now to preserve the Republic from enemies both foreign and domestic. Right now I’m listening to RadioCIA and the music is definitely encouraging. Yeah, the domestic situation is no less than desperate (and that’s an understatement of the highest order). We’ll get by (probably) but it could be ugly for a few weeks. Forgettaboutit, we’ll get by regardless, because the danger to our way of life won’t change one whit, regardless of how we as a united people accomplish it. Yeah, it sucks right now, but regardless I won’t falter or fail in the over-arching duty (at the cost of personal situations) to continue my faith and allegiance to the constitution and Host of Hosts. I’ve taken that oath 3 times in my life and not ONE had an expiration date on it. Good decisions and bad decisions have led us here right now, no choice at all, but the right one it was, it matters not, reality crashes into good intentions. It sucks being in this situation and time right now, but I have faith that there IS a light and the end of the tunnel, and I have a sworn duty to resist the chains of tyranny at every turn. The Emperor, my brother, will return to the airwaves and of course myself, on Tuesday to rally the troops to maintain, as much as we can, to keep those stout hearts and souls to preserve that which we inherit at the cost of blood and strife. Job, in the Good Book, persevered through it, in spite of it all. What I face is nothing compared to his trials. We all are tested by the Creator by His plan, to ensure we are worthy of His Grace. I felt it was necessary to share this with our Loyal Citizens, Good Men and Women All, that there is hope for us all, IF and only IF we stand shoulder to shoulder regardless of what tests we face.

G-d Bless you all, my friends, irrespective of who that deity might be.

Jackboot-

Comments 35 Comments »