And this one. A bit late, perhaps, but never too late:

…and now the obligatory year-end sad Glyukoza song:

…and, once again, sorry for having been away from the window for so long. I’m still alive, though. In between working my fingers to a nub to pay the bills that keep growing faster than any amount of cash infusions seem to be able to keep up with.

Just about ready to shut everything down, find a nice cave to live in and declare myself a hermit. Bill collectors oughtn’t be able to find me there.

But enough blah.

It’s been an interesting Christmas, hasn’t it? First we get the “gift” of the Senate passing a bill wasting another $2.5 trillion (low ball estimate, and why don’t we take it with zeroes on?: $2,500,000,000,000) and forcing every living soul in this country to subscribe to death panel supervised “care” or else go to jail. A tax on being alive. How sweet. All passed courtesy of Ben Nelson (D-Whorehouse) who suddenly decided that his “deeply held principled opposition to funding abortions” were less deeply held than his belief in taking a fat bribe while letting his constituents take it up the poop chute.

That parasite gives two bit harbor whores a bad name. At least they perform a service in return for their money.

And then the sheer awesomeness of the Age of Obongo where passengers, once again, are forced to save their own lives because Janet Napolitano and the Dept. of Homeland Insecurity can’t be arsed to put terrorists with known ties to other terrorists on a “no fly list.” She and the Southern Poverty Law Center are too busy classifying everybody who has ever disagreed with socialism and/or taken the Oath of Allegiance and meant it a “terrorist.” Oh, sorry. They’re not “terrorists.” They’re “causers of man-made disasters.” Unless they’re not mooselimbs.

Ogabe, the Savior of Mankind, couldn’t be arsed for comment since he was tied up playing golf in Hawaii. At least he wasn’t reading “my pet goat”, because that would have been just plain… Irresponsible. Not to mention lewd. We all know how his kind reacts to nubile goats, don’t we?

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Unless you happen to be an unsuspecting goat with an inviting rear end, that is.

What else? Oh yes, the unveiling of the Ogabes’ Christmas (or should that be “Holiday”) Tree at the White House, complete with Chairman Mao ornaments. We must celebrate commie mass murderers. Oh, and one with a transvestite and another with Ogabe’s simian mug superimposed over Mt. Rushmore.

We don’t know if it qualifies him, but his ego surely is bigger than Mt. Rushmore.

Would that his intellect or qualifications were bigger than a paramecium.

It amazes His Imperial Majesty. We always used to think that Caligula’s making his horse Senator and getting away with it was the most perfect example of just how idiotically complacent so-called free people are, but then the people of this once free and proud nation decided to outdo him by naming the horse’s arse President.

But hey, we’ll have a tea party, write a bunch of petitions and then we’ll just go back to taking it up the Khyber Pass.

After all, what can we possibly do more than that?

Our forefathers at Lexington and Concord might have a few suggestions, but who gives a fuck about them anymore?

Sorry. I’m tired, poor and increasingly resigned to the victorious march of idiocy. Idiots outnumber us, and as long as we let their say have the same weight as ours, we’re fighting a losing battle.

There’s strength in numbers.

There is also mindnumbing stupidity in it.

But our kids and grandkids will surely forgive us, right? After all, we only did what was right and proper.

Right?

Right???

Thatisall.

House of Erastosthenes has compiled a good list, and we only have a few additions:

1) Pointless sex scenes. Really, we know that there are thousands of sex-deprived teenagers jacking off to those 10 minute interludes that don’t add anything whatsoever to the plot, but the rest of us would very much like to not have to watch two people humping when we could have something advancing the actual story. We’re quite familiar with sex, so if you must inform us that two characters in the plot have become romantically involved, just show us a clip of them entering a room and beginning to take their clothes off. Cut.

We know what happens next unless we’re from Mars, and we really don’t care to waste 10% of what we paid for a ticket to watch something that all of us have done for real about sixteen hundred times with all of the naughty bits cut out to save your PG rating.

Those who need more have this new invention called the Internet to release their, erm, pressure and, quite frankly, Angelina Jolie’s boobs don’t look any different from the boobs we’ve fondled in our life.

2) The idiotic stereotypes of Christians as mindless drones who just want to kill everybody who doesn’t look like them. Let’s face it, Hollyweird morons, if we really were that nutty, you’d have been dead for at least three decades. There are a lot of us and no, we’re not insane murderous psychopaths. If we were, you wouldn’t be around to tell lies about us. You want to be brave and edgy? Make a movie where the words “terrorist” and “muslim” appear in the same line of dialogue. Of course you won’t. Those people might actually hurt you.

Just a couple of suggestions.

The rest of you please add your favorite movie tropes in the comments.

Thatisall.

…and that even after the High Priest hisself tucked his tail between his legs and ran from the Inconvenient Questions™ that might arise from Climategate.

Dec. 17 (Bloomberg) — World leaders flying into Copenhagen today to discuss a solution to global warming will first face freezing weather as a blizzard dumped 10 centimeters (4 inches) of snow on the Danish capital overnight.

“Temperatures will stay low at least the next three days,” Henning Gisseloe, an official at Denmark’s Meteorological Institute, said today by telephone, forecasting more snow in coming days. “There’s a good chance of a white Christmas.”

[...]

Denmark has a maritime climate and milder winters than its Scandinavian neighbors. It hasn’t had a white Christmas for 14 years, under the DMI’s definition, and only had seven last century. Temperatures today fell as low as minus 4 Celsius (25 Fahrenheit).

That’s unprecedented!

Oh wait, we’re not supposed to use that word in those cases (meaning: “when weather conditions really are unprecedented”), are we?

Thatisall.

So tell us, Algore, are you feeling it yet?

(It’s at the bottom section of the article, but here are a few excerpts with our highlights added. Do read the rest, though)

On Tuesday, the Moscow-based Institute of Economic Analysis (IEA) issued a report claiming that the Hadley Center for Climate Change based at the headquarters of the British Meteorological Office in Exeter (Devon, England) had probably tampered with Russian-climate data.

The IEA believes that Russian meteorological-station data did not substantiate the anthropogenic global-warming theory.

The deuce you say? And thank you for, correctly, adding the “anthropogenic” bit. If only the hysterics of the Church of Gore had the honesty to say that instead of calling it Global Warming Climate Change so they can get their jollies from calling people questioning the man-made component of warming “climate deniers/denialists/Nazis/evil elves/whatever”.

Yeah, we’re “denying the climate”, that’s for sure. Earth never had one and it never changed. Careful with that strawman, lest it catches fire and increases your carbon footprint.

But we digress…

Analysts say Russian meteorological stations cover most of the country’s territory, and that the Hadley Center had used data submitted by only 25% of such stations in its reports.

Over 40% of Russian territory was not included in global-temperature calculations for some other reasons, rather than the lack of meteorological stations and observations.

We can’t possibly imagine what those “other reasons” might have been. Dog ate them? They accidentally flew into the shredder, carried by a freak gust of wind?

The data of stations located in areas not listed in the Hadley Climate Research Unit Temperature UK (HadCRUT) survey often does not show any substantial warming in the late 20th century and the early 21st century.

Is that so? That sounds an awful lot like cherry-picking to us but, then again, we’re not impeccably credentialed scientists like Chuckles Johnson who, by the way, would like you to know that Amazon has such a deal on barely used bicycle seats and, of course, Kindles.

The HadCRUT database includes specific stations providing incomplete data and highlighting the global-warming process, rather than stations facilitating uninterrupted observations.

On the whole, climatologists use the incomplete findings of meteorological stations far more often than those providing complete observations.

No, no, no, NOOOOOOOO! The Science Is SETTLED!!!™

IEA analysts say climatologists use the data of stations located in large populated centers that are influenced by the urban-warming effect more frequently than the correct data of remote stations.

But, but, but why on Earth would they do that?

Somewhere, Chuckles is sucking on his Phony Tail while desperately putting up six dozen “excellent videos” of compromised “scientists” “brilliantly debunking” every single suggestion that they’ve ever done anything wrong. Scout’s honor. Really. Would we lie to you?

The scale of global warming was exaggerated due to temperature distortions for Russia accounting for 12.5% of the world’s land mass. The IEA said it was necessary to recalculate all global-temperature data in order to assess the scale of such exaggeration.

Maybe this time we can get somebody who aren’t interested in only one outcome to do the calculations?

Just a thought.

You know, the way science used to be practiced before the advent of NuScience.

Thatisall.

He’s now defending Kevin “Teach Your Children to Take it Up the Arse” Jennings because, well, some of the people criticizing him aren’t exactly kosher in their opposition to the “Safe Schools” CommisCzar. You know, the guy whose recommended reading list for public school students include glorifying pedophilia, rape and assorted other goodies. We posted on it not too long ago.

And, to make Chuckles “Phony Tail” Johnson look even more ridiculous, as if such a thing was even possible, he quotes Soros Matters to back his case up:

Right-wing media outlets have relied on false or misleading claims by MassResistance, a Massachusetts-based anti-gay group, in advancing several recent attacks on Department of Education official Kevin Jennings. The founder of MassResistance — a group the Southern Poverty Law Center has labeled a “hate group” — reportedly denied that gays and lesbians were a target of the Holocaust and has compared the gay rights movement to the Nazis. The organization has also called on parents to keep their children home from school during an event promoting awareness of, and opposition to, anti-gay bullying and has stated that suicide prevention programs for gay and lesbian youth have no “legitimate medical or psychological basis.”

You know, Phony Tail, We really don’t give a good hoot who exactly is opposed to teaching our kids that statutory rape is OK, but obviously you do. Which, based on your recent standard of “guilt by association, no matter how tenuous”, can only lead us to believe, using your own standards, that the rumors about your predilection for tight, pre-pubescent arse might not be all that far-fetched at all.

Hey, just thinking out loud here and using your own “standards” of evidence.

So what is it, exactly, about a firm pre-pubescent butt that turns you on?

Riding your saddle-less bike just doesn’t do it for you anymore?

Little Green Pedo Balls, perhaps?

Thatisall.

You know, usually when you see AP using the Porterhouse at Hot Air, it’s because it’s a pretty hot button issue, and he has a good nose for that. But this time His Imperial Majesty is really having a hard time seeing where the beef is (bad pun very much intended).

It’s about the D.C. city council approving gay marriage. What? Anybody surprised that the inhabitants of the fever swamp of D.C. would approve of that? Have they ever approved of anything that was even remotely popular in the rest of the United States of America? Personally, we couldn’t care less about what the abnormal freaks of D.C. approve of even if we spent 8 semesters at Indifference U earning a Ph.D. in Not Giving A Shit.

So we suppose it’s because it flies in the face of the Federal Defense of Marriage Act.

In which case, and prepare to stone us, we wish the challengers a bad case of terminal colonic itch.

You know where His Majesty stands on gay “marriage”, so we won’t list our bona fides here. But if they wanted to make it a federal issue, then they’d have to do it the way the Founding Fathers allowed for it. Turn it into an Amendment.

Unless some of you Constitutional Scholars out there can point us to the place in the Constitution where the definition of marriage is a Federal issue, because we sure as Hell can’t find it. We wish we could, but we can’t. And if we can’t, then it belongs to the States, or The People. Read the Tenth. Of course, there might be an issue here of D.C. not being a State, but we’ll have to defer to those with actual scholarly expertise in the Constitution on that particular issue. We know our limits, and that’s one.

But speaking generally, the issue of gay “marriage” has always been a States’ issue to us for the very simple reason that it’s not mentioned in the Constitution and, therefore, is none of the already bloated Fed’s damn business. We understand the concerns, that if one State accepts gay “marriage” then all other States will have to recognize such “marriages” made in those States, but if we’re going to play that way, then we can play too: Until such time that every single State of the Union respects and honors a concealed carry license issued in another State, they can take their full faith and credit and shove it up their flapping sphincters. Either it works across the board, or it doesn’t work at all.

But we digress.

Bottom line is: The definition of marriage isn’t in the Constitution, and therefore it is a States’ Rights issue. No, we don’t like it, but that’s irrelevant. We often, and rightfully, tear Roe v. Wade to shreds because it is in no shape, form or fashion Constitutional based on the simple fact that the Constitution nowhere mentions a “right” to abortion and therefore it is an issue reserved for the States. It’s easy to do so because we happen to agree with the opposition to abortion (not that abortion would be outlawed across our nation if Roe v. Wade was overturned), but we don’t agree with the opinion that it should be overturned because we happen to be against abortion.

We agree because it’s Un-Constitutional.

To pass a federal law against gay marriage without going through the amendment process would be Un-Constitutional too. And it is. The Fed DOES NOT HAVE THAT AUTHORITY VESTED IN IT IN THE CONSTITUTION.

It matters fuck all that we would like for them to have that authority.

We’d be no better than an activist liberal fuckheaded “judge” if we adopted that viewpoint.

If we are to have a law defining marriage as between one woman and one man, and by all means we believe that we should, then we have to follow the rules: Pass an Amendment. Yes, it’s tedious, yes, it takes a long time, no, we aren’t guaranteed to win, but none of that matters.

What matters is that we respect the rules set down for us by the men who paid in their own blood and treasure for our ability to even discuss this.

Thatisall.

…from some sob sister environ-Mentalist, Bill McKibben, who’s getting all choked up about the impending doom, DOOM I tell you!

COPENHAGEN—I’ve spent the last few years working more than fulltime to organize the first big global grassroots climate change campaign. That’s meant shutting off my emotions most of the time—this crisis is so terrifying that when you let yourself feel too deeply it can be paralyzing. Hence, much gallows humor, irony, and sheer work.

Hard work feeding those shredders in order to hide the decline. Oh, that wasn’t you. You’re even lower on the rungs of Glowbull Fraudening. Carry on.

This afternoon I sobbed for an hour, and I’m still choking a little.

Grow a pair, princess. Oh, and be careful about all of that hysteria. It leads to hyperventilating, and you know how much of that dangerous pollutant, CO₂, is in that stuff, don’t you?

I got to Copenhagen’s main Lutheran Cathedral just before the start of a special service designed to mark the conference underway for the next week. It was jammed, but I squeezed into a chair near the corner. The Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, gave the sermon; Desmond Tutu read the Psalm. Both were wonderful.

Even more wonderful that you screeching sycophants are ever more willing to make it abundantly clear that you’re dealing in religion rather than science.

But my tears started before anyone said a word.

Somebody punched you in the face? Wasn’t me. Could have been a member of my family, though.

Give us more, O Emperor! »« AIIIEEEE! My EYES!

“…t’would be a shame if something were to happen to it…” (h/t STACLU).

Now that those provisions appear to have been stripped from the bill, Lieberman may get on board, but Nelson’s demand that taxpayer money not be used to fund abortion has still not been met. According to a Senate aide, the White House is now threatening to put Nebraska’s Offutt Air Force Base on the BRAC list if Nelson doesn’t fall into line.

Offutt Air Force Base employs some 10,000 military and federal employees in Southeastern Nebraska. As our source put it, this is a “naked effort by Rahm Emanuel and the White House to extort Nelson’s vote.” They are “threatening to close a base vital to national security for what?” asked the Senate staffer.

Why Hope! And CHANGE!, of course.

So what if we utterly uproot and disrupt the U.S. Strategic Command (which happens to be located there) and kill and uncreate 10,000 jobs in the middle of a recession? National security be damned! King Obamandias wants his B+, dammit, and he wants it NOW!