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Try as we might, and L-rd knows that we’ve done our level best to avoid anything mass media related since the ascension of Buckwheat the Dimwitted to Mt. Barackus, we’re still exposed to the occasional burst of “objective, rational and unbiased media” even at work. More specifically where His Majesty usually takes his lunch, a habit that he will have to break himself of for a while since we have a rather huge plasma screen there covering the news and, given CNN’s current “coverage” of news, it’s only slightly less nausea-inducing to partake of lunch in the middle of an autopsy.
In case you’re wondering: Yes, we have done that. It was a busy day with lots of stiffs and we just didn’t have the time to suit out, have lunch, then suit back up again. But we digress…
So for two harrowing days we’ve been subjected to the sickening sounds of synchronized orgasms from CNN every time the Obamessiah as much as breaks wind. We thought we’d seen and heard it all until the Communist News Network started to sell T-shirts with the slogan: “Obama raises hand, lifts a nation.” No, we’re not kidding, although it seems to be hard to find a link to it now. But we saw it right there in living color.
We suppose we should be grateful that they’re toning it down a bit. We were expecting the second sentence to be “parts the Red Sea.”
In other news, we’ve been watching pictures of the coronation ceremony since they keep popping up everywhere. First off, let us compliment the G-d Emperor on his choice of clothes. He looked just like a scrawny scarecrow in an Armani suit which, come to think of it, pretty much describes him: All suit, nothing but straw inside.
His First Sasquatch, on the other hand, wasn’t quite as subdued. She went all out celebrating her newfound fame and fortune as First Ho of the United States, showing up first in an outfit that made us weep for the rococo couch that had to give up its life and be skinned to cover her doublewide arse. And then, later on, she showed up at the inaugural ball dressed up as the Charmin’ mascot (minus the bears), and we have to admit that we never thought that any land object of that kind of mass could be TP’ed that artfully, but still she managed.
You can throw a nobleman into a burlap sack without him losing his bearing, but no matter how much you dress up a peasant, it will still be obvious to all and sundry that you’re dealing with a peasant.
We were a bit surprised that the Beanstalk-in-Chief agreed to her baring her shoulders like that, though. Not out of modesty, we’re not even sure that the Husseins are aware of the meaning of the word, but because it has to be a bit embarrassing that her shoulders are broader than his even when he’s the only one wearing padding.
Now, if you’ll pardon us. We have to go check out the Imperial Chariot again. For some reason, we were led to believe that we’d wake up with the tank of it magically filled up with unicorn farts overnight, but perhaps delivery is slower down here below the Mason-Dixon line.
And we’re still waiting on that refund on our mortgage payments too.
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I looked like she was rolled up in toilet paper.
Soon we’ll all be paying designer prices for Charmin. Old Sears catalogs will be at a premium!
Welcome aboard Dramboozie. With a name like that, I’m sure you’ll fit right in.
D’
Greetings, Dramboozie! We need more members of the fairer sex here. And in your honor, another Muslim joke.
LC HJ Caveman82952 @:
the assault weapons ban is being introduced by illinois black panther bobby rush who wants to disarm white people.you know of course that the stimulus bill is only for negroes not white people.this administration is the most racist bunch of commie traitors in history.
reloading in the cellar offers hope.
bruce @ 55: Really? Gosh! Whoda thunkit? Couldn’t have seen THAT coming! Just, like, WOW!
There’s a reason humans are called “Long Pig”.
57 is good, but Country Bob’s is better.
“Takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters!!”
MODERATION?!?!?!
Shit, this place is starting to sound like my fucking liver…..
Awesome sire! Just awesome. I really needed that.
I’m still amazed at the stupidity of people who voted to them though. Good God! Someone last night actually told me how good he spoke. I told him to go listen to an audio of him stating his first executive orders.
There should be some type of test people need to pass before they elect something like this.
Oh, OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH, Forger!
And I thought I really couldn’t get grossed out by anything anymore. I was wrong.
LC FORGER sez:
You know what? I think that’s at my local store! I’ll check. A1 Spicy would be good too.
LC FORGER sez:
Good recipe!
What? You’ve never eaten blutwurst?
I’m laughing so hard tears are rolling out of my eyes!
The last time I went to the St. Louis Science Center for the Body Worlds Exhibit.
Look over the speakers shoulder, and you can see someone holding up their “Skin Suit”. CONTENT NOTICE!! Video contains REAL plastinated human corpses.
Again with the moderation??? BULLSHIT!! Cry Have Another Round and let slip the livers of war!!
LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician @:
As much as we appreciate the infamy, hazing is much more effective if we don’t tip them off. Kind of like screaming out the times of the secret barracks inspection as the recruits get off the bus.
dramboozie @:
That is too cool! I know there’s a bar there where all the carny freaks hang out. I would LOVE to trick someone into going in there (“c’mon honey, let’s grab a beer and watch the game”) when all the A-Listers are there. Having the human blockhead shake your martini inside his skull? Priceless!
Make sure you can see the forest for the trees!
Don’t worry about those link warnings, Dramboozie, it isn’t as hard to overcome the OMFG!!! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WORSE THAN THAT?!?!? feeling you’ll get from them….
Just click on a link to a news story about the latest obamanation to come from Rezident Obohica’s administration and you’ll say to yourself, “OH… That wasn’t so bad….”
(RE: #68 – See what I mean?? To wash away that mental image, just picture Obohica putting the discussion to an end by proclaiming “I won”, which he did today….)
(Stealing from AoSHQ who stole it from Allah the link to the above “I won” reference…)
Radical Redneck @:#69
I never knew Larry Fine performed cunnilingus on Madonna!
Shit. That should have been, “Look over the speaker at 0:48 seconds shoulder…”
LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician sez:
and
OMg what have I gotten into? Hazing? No one is going to run me nekkid down a row of rotties snapping me with wet towels, are they? Damn! I hate when that happens.
From now forward, everyone should refer to the newest Rottie as “LC dramboozie” if you would please.
dramboozie @:
C’mon! I promise it’ll only be water wetting those towels!
dramboozie sez:
normally no, but we could make an exception if you’re really interested.
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