From LC Brit_Student who is now safely with us in the Empire, at least for a while. If anybody around San Diego knows of a way to make him stay and yes, kidnapping is definitely an option, we need all the good men we can get, please don’t hesitate to let us know.
The Mad Mullahs of Tehran are just so intent on stirring up shit with us that they can’t stand it, aren’t they?
TEHRAN (Reuters) – Iran has seized three Royal Navy boats, which it said entered its waters near the Iraqi border, and arrested eight British crew.
Well, this is the time to pay the Brits back for their staunch and loyal support throughout the war, Mr. President, so hide your waffle iron, lock Colon Bowel up in his sorority so he can play with his Shari’ah Barbies©, and tell the Turbaned Tumblefucks of Tehran? that they’ve got, say, 48 hours to release our allies unharmed or there’ll be a lot of unpleasant and loud noises suddenly shattering the nocturnal quiescence of the Islamist Republic.
Now’s not the time to go wobbly on us, Dubya.
And before anybody cute pipes up with “why should we go to war for them?”, I’d like to say the following:
THEY sure as Hell went to war for US, didn’t they?
While Tehran was deeply opposed to the U.S.-led war and occupation of Iraq, there has been little direct conflict up to now between the Shi’ite Muslim state and foreign forces along its western border.
Other than heavy traffic of terrorists going back and forth, but we don’t talk about that, now do we?
The incident is likely to place further strain on Tehran’s ties with London…
Gee, ya think? We truly missed a golden opportunity to keep our Imperial Brains in pristine condition and still make a living when we didn’t choose journalism as a career.
…which last week joined other European nations in condemning Iran for being less than fully cooperative with inspectors from the U.N.’s nuclear watchdog.
Watchpoodle, more like, because it sure doesn’t seem to have made much of an impression on the Islamist Pigfuckers of Tehran.
“This morning three British vessels with eight crew entered the Islamic Republic of Iran’s waters and Iran’s naval forces, acting on their legal duty, confiscated the vessels and arrested the crew,” Foreign Ministry spokesman Hamid Reza Asefi said in a statement on Monday.
The Iranian fleet just tripled its size as a result.
You want to hear about our legal duties towards our allies, Hamid? You want to hear about what we have to do if a courteous request from us doesn’t suffice? Do you want to die, you cave-dwelling goat molester? It can be arranged, you know, very quickly and there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop us.
“The crew are under investigation in order to clarify the issue,” he added.
Here’s a suggestion: Speed up your “investigation” and make doubly damn sure that there’s not as much as a bruise on our Brit allies when they get back from their visit with you.
Because if you don’t, you’ll find that your Allah ain’t all that Akhbar after all. Just ask Sod’em.
The British Ministry of Defence later confirmed the incident.
“We can confirm that eight Royal Navy personnel from the Royal Navy training team based in southern Iraq have been detained by the Iranian authorities while delivering a boat from Umm Qsar to Basra,” it said in a statement.
Tehran gave no indication of when or whether the British ships and crew might be released.
Tick… tock… tick… tock…
You DO realize that we can deliver a warhead of our choosing at any time, anywhere on the planet, don’t you? Look up, O follower of Mohammed the Pederast. No, you can’t see it, but it’s there. The Hammer of G-d (with a little help from American Engineering), just itching to blow the turban off of your sloping forehead and crush your skull like a grape.
You live and breathe only because we let you. Never forget that.
The incident involving OPEC’s second largest producer added to jitters on world oil markets, already unnerved by Islamic militant attacks on foreigners in Saudi Arabia and pipeline attacks in Iraq. Prices of gold, seen as a safe haven in times of instability, rose slightly on the news.
Iran state media said the incident took place in the narrow Shatt al-Arab waterway which separates southwestern Iran from Iraq.
And we all know how creative the sand nits get when it comes to defining just which part of that pool of tepid water belongs to who, don’t we?
The Ministry of Defence said Britain had small naval ships there helping to train Iraqi police.
“We are not talking about ships, we are not talking about warships, we are talking about small river patrol vessels,” a spokesman said.
Well, we can’t really blame the Mad Mullahs for being skeered of that, considering the size and quality of their own fleet. What they fail to understand, however, is that that’s the least of their problems if they continue to mess with the bull.
That bull has some damn big horns.
A British diplomat in Tehran said the government was in close contact with Iranian authorities in Tehran and London.
Iran’s state television said maps and weapons carried on the vessels were confiscated.
…and will promptly be delivered back ASAP, unless the goat herders want to receive a real weapons “shipment”.
Revolutionary Guards spokesman Massoud Jazaeri told Reuters Iran was determined to defend its territorial integrity.
To the last turban, we suppose? Just like everybody else in the region who’ve had their asses handed to them on a platter by anybody who actually knows how to fight enemies not consisting entirely of women, seniors and children?
Well, we’ve been talking an awful lot about how we owe the Brits for sticking with us through thick and thin. Now’s a perfect time to show that we mean it.
Just make sure, as we said, to lock up Colon and his Merry Minstrels of Foggy Bottom first. We wouldn’t want the children to get frightened, after all.