No War for Organs!

How did this MEMRI translation of an article from Brussels escape our attention?

“Secret European military intelligence reports indicate the transformation of the American humanitarian mission in Iraq into a profitable trade in the American markets through the practice of American physicians extracting human organs from the dead and wounded, before they are put to death, for sale to medical centers in America. A secret team of American physicians follow the troops during their attacks on Iraqi armed men to ensure quick [medical] operations for extracting some organs and transferring them to private operations rooms before they are transferred to America for sale.

Mheh. I’m sure our crews of flying space monkeys are using UFO’s to fly the pilfered body parts to Roswell, too. The funniest part is the alleged pricing.

These teams offer $40 for every usable kidney and $25 for an eye.

Do these morons realize an American doctor would charge you more than that for recommending cranberry juice and Visine? They must be confusing our doctors with European socialist health-care systems, where the debate is about whether doctors in Holland should be immune from prosecution for secretly killing babies.

Nevertheless, the German media will undoubtedly report our organ thefts as fact, just as David Kaspar reports they’re doing about the oil. Over a year and a half later my SUV is still waiting impatiently for all that Iraqi crude…

27 comments

  1. 1
    LC BillofStMarys growls and barks:

    First!

  2. 2
    The Applicant growls and barks:

    Yeah! Yesterday I paid $1.61 a gallon for gas. WHen will it be under a dollar? Oh, and the Arab world belives ANY consipiracy theory. Good for them.

  3. 3
    Mike M growls and barks:

    Sounds like those secret doctors were inspired by watching Iranian TV:

    CNSNews.com – A weekly TV series now airing in Iran claims the Israeli government is “stealing Palestinian children’s eyes.”

    Look for Dan Rather to take over the anchor’s position there soon.

  4. 4
    DumbAss Tanker growls and barks:

    Hey, when we tell ya that opertion is gonna cost you an arm and a leg, we’re not just bullshittin’ around!
    Ba-DUM-ump! Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week, be sure to try the veal….

    (Not so) Seriously though, the insurgents could frustrate our evil plot by poking out their own eyes and huffing some carbon tet, “I sure hope they don’t figure that out, it would ruin our profit$!”

  5. 5
    N. O'Brai, IMfUI growls and barks:

    “I’ll keep an eye out for you.”

  6. 6
    kat-missouri growls and barks:

    If only it were true. I know several people waiting for transplants and none of them seem to be moving up the list any faster than they were before.

    Maybe we’re selling the parts to Europe? Those prices do seem to reflect the European health system? If I recall correctly, some guy in America tried to sell his kidney for 25k on ebay or something before the authorities caught up with him. I would say that a kidney from Iraq would be worth at least that. Of course, what these bozos haven’t figured out is that the kidney, heart, eye, whatever would not be viable if it had to travel outside of a few hours, even on ice. You can’t freeze it. by the 10 or more hours that it would take to get here (10 if it was a direct flight) the tissue would already have begun to decompose and the organ would not be viable.

    However, everything has a modicum of truth to it so it’s just as likely that people were being asked if they would donate the organs of their loved ones for transplants to patients in Iraq. Even that would be touchy since travel there is dependent on good road conditions and a distinct lack of IED. Only direct flights would be blackhawks. Maybe that’s where the stories of little black helicopters come from? LOL

  7. 7
    useless growls and barks:

    So, wait, let me figure this out…

    Those prices look like co-pays…

    Hmmm.. What BASTARDS! They steal your eyes and kidneys and STILL make you pay a friggin co-pay!

    Yep, sounds like an American doctor to me, this MUST be real.

  8. 8
    DANEgerus growls and barks:

    When the loons take over the Fraudi asylum and slaughter the royal family it is going to be hard not to remember that “Saudi government” publications printed such blood libel slanders against American’s and Jews.

  9. 9
    Tao Libra growls and barks:

    The reports confirm the finding of tens of mutilated cadavers or cadavers missing parts.

    Tens? Not dozens, or hundreds, but tens?

    Some were found without a head.

    Okay, so let’s pretend that it’s possible to transplant a head — and then ask yourself why anyone would want an Iraqi head transplanted on their body.

    When you run out of ideas, try instead asking yourself whether we have any prior knowledge of people in Iraq who might have been cutting the heads off of other people.

    The American military command could not offer reasons to explain the bewilderment about the missing parts?

    Yeah, I can’t offer any reasons to explain the bewilderment either, since only an idiot wonders why bodies in a combat zone might be mutilated or blown to pieces.

    ?suggesting that this may have been caused by the penetration of bullets to the [missing] parts. But these excuses cannot be medically accepted.

    Because of course it’s ridiculous to suggest that bullets cause bodily damage to those who are struck by them. Bullets merely cause their recipients to clutch the affected spot and fall over, their bodies completely intact, as can be seen in almost any American-made “Western” movie.

    I was considering ripping the whole thing apart, but it’s hardly worth the effort when it’s so easy. These people are fucking nuts.

  10. 10
    Beth growls and barks:

    Yeah, well it’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye!
    “Useless”…blame the HMO’s. I’ll bet THEY are the eeeeevil ones behind this evil! Cheneyesque! scandal! I’ll bet the HMO charges the dead people for services “not covered” too! The horror!

  11. 11
    George Turner growls and barks:

    But TL, they say a head transplant is the only kind where it’s better to be the donor than the recipient, so that headless Iraqi’s head gets a new American body!

  12. 12
    Firethorn growls and barks:

    The reports indicate that the cadavers are immunized inside special cars to prevent the spread of the plague until the bodies are buried by their relatives.

    They can’t even keep their conspiracies seperate!

    And I agree, we’d need some advances in organ transport before we’d be able to transport organs back to the states.

    Mutilated bodies? More likely the fact that we tend to use high-power weapons. A bomb, aircraft cannon, .50 BMG, grenade, artillery, all will result in a mutilated body.

  13. 13
    Mark growls and barks:

    Those prices do seem to reflect the European health system?

    Transplant organs are relatively inexpensive in Europe. For example:A man’s brain, much less complex than a woman’s, sells for around 15,000 in Britain.

  14. 14
    CDR Will growls and barks:

    TWWEEEEEEET!

    Excuse me. I know this is a great thing to pick on, but just a damn minute!

    Am I the only one who just got bent out of shape over todays revelation that some UN asshole was saying that the United States is “stingy” and does not tax it’s citizens enough? Hello?!?!?

    Okay, so it is not bad enough that the little RapPoodle? Kojo Annan is funneling money for daddy Kofi; it’s not enough that we find out that UN “peacekeepers” are setting up camps for pedophilia and rape . . .

    Now we have to hear some lower-than-whale-shit secretary of human rights from the UN tell the world that the United States of America is “stingy?”

    I want blood, and I want it right- damn – NOW!!!

  15. 15
    Um Yeah growls and barks:

    Mark you couldnt get 15 cent for a American KKKonservitive mans brain. even less for a facist broads.

  16. 16
    CDR Will growls and barks:

    Pardon me for not providing the link before.

    Here it is.

  17. 17
    LC ima mommy growls and barks:

    Have we gone off topic here?? ;) CDR, fyi: the post below is discussing the tsunami tragedy and the subsequent remarks by the UN regarding our “stingy” initial monetary donation…

  18. 18
    Richard Aubrey growls and barks:

    The world wouldn’t hate us so much if we’d stop invading other countries to steal their organs.
    Simple. Why hasn’t Bush thought of that?

  19. 19
    DumbAss Tanker growls and barks:

    It’s all about the Ooooorgans!

    (Meheheh.)

  20. 20
    LC BattleofthePyramids growls and barks:

    A lot of Arabs and our homegrown LLL moonbats will believe this! Look for the anti-organ transplant protests any day now!

  21. 21
    robert in england growls and barks:

    I dont know about Europe, but the waiting lines haven’t gotten any shorter her in England. I know, its all those evil Joooooss! Yeah, I bet they’ve all got like five kidneys and ten or eleven eyes each!
    Please Emperor, can we arrange that head transplant for Um Yeah.

  22. 22
    kschlenker growls and barks:

    Beheaded people left after head transplants? Right. Closer to, Americans and allies bodies left around after terrorists take trophies to show on Al Jizm TV.
    Why does Foggy Bottom believe we have to be friends with these freaks? I just don’t get it.

  23. 23
    LCNeilV growls and barks:

    The same people belive the protocols of the elders of zion….Geesh the ahrab street is not getting any smarter yet. Everyone knows Gitmo is an organ farm.
    Theyt are learning our evil Seekrits..And Dumb yeah fook off

  24. 24
    Stu Ped growls and barks:

    No Blood For Organs!

  25. 25
    LC Xealot growls and barks:

    Just when I think I’ve heard it all… the liberals come up with a new way to impress me with their stupidity. That anyone would possibly believe this article is just… sick.

    Besides, has anyone ever heard of an eye transplant before? I sure haven’t.

  26. 26
    Um Yeah growls and barks:

    i dont beleve for a second these tidil waves were caused by eartquake! a nucleer bomb in middle of ocean would easily cause this.
    whos guilty? easy, everyone died was brown and muslim. anyone intelligint knows it was shrub!

  27. 27
    DumbAss Tanker growls and barks:

    i dont beleve for a second these tidil waves were caused by eartquake! a nucleer bomb in middle of ocean would easily cause this.
    whos guilty? easy, everyone died was brown and muslim. anyone intelligint knows it was shrub!

    Posted by Um Yeah at December 29, 2004 10:40 AM

    Are you trying to transition to “satire troll?” That made ‘way more sense as humor mocking the moonbats than it does as a straight read. Throw in the towel kid, you’re fighting hopelessly far out of your own weight class.